Gnostic Unrest

Volcano Energy? Hot Mamma!

2012-01-14T21:15:00.008-05:00

While this article made me grin from ear to ear with how elated the scientist(s) must feel who created this technology I feel the urge to warn-- PLEASE for the love of all that is holy don't let some dumbshit scientist near Yellowstone with this tech!!!! That is one caldera that will kill us all anyway and we haven't found a way to delay the inevitable yet.

Not sure what I'm talking about with Yellowstone? Look up "caldera" + "Yellowstone." I haven't met a geo-scientist yet who doesn't break out in nervous, sweaty shakes at the mention of it. It's real.

Now onto the 'groundbreaking' goodness that is geothermal energy:

Project to pour water into volcano to make power

By JEFF BARNARD | Associated Press

Geothermal energy developers plan to pump 24 million gallons of water into the side of a dormant volcano in Central Oregon this summer to demonstrate new technology they hope will give a boost to a green energy sector that has yet to live up to its promise.

They hope the water comes back to the surface fast enough and hot enough to create cheap, clean electricity that isn't dependent on sunny skies or stiff breezes — without shaking the earth and rattling the nerves of nearby residents.

Renewable energy has been held back by cheap natural gas, weak demand for power and waning political concern over global warming. Efforts to use the earth's heat to generate power, known as geothermal energy, have been further hampered by technical problems and worries that tapping it can cause earthquakes.

Even so, the federal government, Google and other investors are interested enough to bet $43 million on the Oregon project. They are helping AltaRock Energy, Inc. of Seattle and Davenport Newberry Holdings LLC of Stamford, Conn., demonstrate whether the next level in geothermal power development can work on the flanks of Newberrry Volcano, located about 20 miles south of Bend, Ore.

"We know the heat is there," said Susan Petty, president of AltaRock. "The big issue is can we circulate enough water through the system to make it economic."

The heat in the earth's crust has been used to generate power for more than a century. Engineers gather hot water or steam that bubbles near the surface and use it to spin a turbine that creates electricity. Most of those areas have been exploited. The new frontier is places with hot rocks, but no cracks in the rocks or water to deliver the steam.

To tap that heat — and grow geothermal energy from a tiny niche into an important source of green energy — engineers are working on a new technology called Enhanced Geothermal Systems.

"To build geothermal in a big way beyond where it is now requires new technology, and that is where EGS comes in," said Steve Hickman, a research geophysicist with the U.S. Geological Survey in Menlo Park, Calif.

Wells are drilled deep into the rock and water is pumped in, creating tiny fractures in the rock, a process known as hydroshearing.

Cold water is pumped down production wells into the reservoir, and the steam is drawn out.

Hydroshearing is similar to the process known as hydraulic fracturing, used to free natural gas from shale formations. But fracking uses chemical-laden fluids, and creates huge fractures. Pumping fracking wastewater deep underground for disposal likely led to recent earthquakes in Arkansas and Ohio.

Fears persist that cracking rock deep underground through hydroshearing can also lead to damaging quakes. EGS has other problems. It is hard to create a reservoir big enough to run a commercial power plant.

Progress has been slow. Two small plants are online in France and Germany. A third in downtown Basel, Switzerland, was shut down over earthquake complaints. A project in Australia has had drilling problems.

A new international protocol is coming out at the end of this month that urges EGS developers to keep projects out of urban areas, the so-called "sanity test," said Ernie Majer, a seismologist with the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory. It also urges developers to be upfront with local residents so they know exactly what is going on.

AltaRock hopes to demonstrate a new technology for creating bigger reservoirs that is based on the plastic polymers used to make biodegradable cups.

It worked in existing geothermal fields. Newberry will show if it works in a brand new EGS field, and in a different kind of geology, volcanic rock, said Colin Williams, a USGS geophysicist also in Menlo Park.

The U.S. Department of Energy has given the project $21.5 million in stimulus funds. That has been matched by private investors, among them Google with $6.3 million.

Majer said the danger of a major quake at Newbery is very low. The area is a kind of seismic dead zone, with no significant faults. It is far enough from population centers to make property damage unlikely. And the layers of volcanic ash built up over millennia dampen any shaking.

But the Department of Energy will be keeping a close eye on the project, and any significant quakes would shut it down at least temporarily, he said. The agency is also monitoring EGS projects at existing geothermal fields in California, Nevada and Idaho.

"That's the $64,000 question," Majer said. "What's the biggest earthquake we can have from induced seismicity that the public can worry about."

Geologists believe Newberry Volcano was once one of the tallest peaks in the Cascades, reaching an elevation of 10,000 feet and a diameter of 20 miles. It blew its top before the last Ice Age, leaving a caldera studded with towering lava flows, two lakes, and 400 cinder cones, some 400 feet tall.

Although the volcano has not erupted in 1,300 years, hot rocks close to the surface drew exploratory wells in the 1980s.

Over 21 days, AltaRock will pour 800 gallons of water per minute into the 10,600-foot test well, already drilled, for a total of 24 million gallons. According to plan, the cold water cracks the rock. The tiny plastic particles pumped down the well seal off the cracks. Then more cold water goes in, bypassing the first tier, and cracking the rock deeper in the well. That tier is sealed off, and cold water cracks a third section. Later, the plastic melts away.

Seismic sensors produce detailed maps of the fracturing, expected to produce a reservoir of cracks starting about 6,000 feet below the surface, and extending to 11,000 feet. It would be about 3,300 feet in diameter.

The U.S. Bureau of Land Management released an environmental assessment of the Newberry project last month that does not foresee any problems that would stop it. The agency is taking public comments before making a final decision in coming months.

No power plant is proposed, but one could be operating in about 10 years, said Doug Perry, president and CEO of Davenport Newberry.

EGS is attractive because it vastly expands the potential for geothermal power, which, unlike wind and solar, produces power around the clock in any weather.

Natural geothermal resources account for about 0.3 percent of U.S. electricity production, but a 2007 Massachusetts Institute of Technology report projected EGS could bump that to 10 percent within 50 years, at prices competitive with fossil-fuels.

Few people expect that kind of timetable now. Electricity prices have fallen sharply because of low natural gas prices and weak demand brought about by the Great Recession and state efficiency programs.

But the resource is vast. A 2008 USGS assessment found EGS throughout the West, where hot rocks are closer to the surface than in the East, has the potential to produce half the country's electricity.

"The important question we need to answer now," said Williams, the USGS geophysicist who compiled the assessment, "is how geothermal fits into the renewable energy picture, and how EGS fits. How much it is going to cost, and how much is available."

Drugs Create A Divide

2012-01-13T23:10:00.015-05:00

I'm prone to migraines. The kind that creep up and for three days I have trouble reading, speaking, hearing/understanding people and then WHAM! the actual pain sets in. Then I'm thinking, "Duh, you dipshit. Those crappy days were the aphasia precursor to it. You should know better by now." Do I? No. Of course not. When you have fibromyalgia all those symptoms kinda run together some days and you just suck it up and deal with it as best you can. It's hard to sort it all out.

Meanwhile, the world is spinning and you can't stop looking at your son cross eyed and he asks, "Are you ok?" Sure, son. I'm ok. Just let me go lay down and die.

Schoolwork needs to be graded, huge portfolio projects have to be planned, I have to give both boys PE, dinner needs making, and damn that linoleum in the foyer looks like a muddy bear rolled into our house because it rained last night and nobody bothered to wipe their shoes off before tracking the mud all in the house. And yet my brain hurts with the fire of ten suns.

So I finally broke down and asked my doc for help with the migraines. He gave me 50mg Imitrex. Because I have such odd responses to medications I have to be very diligent about researching before I actually ingest a new medication. So researched the shit out of this drug. The more I read the less I wanted to take one of those pills. (Now I know why my mother temporarily turned into a hypochondriac while in nursing school.) But my head was pounding and stuff wasn't getting done on it's own.

I chickened out. I suffered through it. I called my Mom-the-Nurse and grilled her about the med to get her thoughts on it. She's used to giving it in IV's and not in pill form. And other than that she says it's ok and it wont interfere with my current meds. But I still chickened out.

Then yesterday another one hit me and once I knew for sure that it was indeed a migraine and not just a stress headache I grabbed that box and popped a pill in my mouth before I could think about it too much(thus thinking myself OUT of it). I walked into the kitchen to finish serving dinner and about two minutes later I passed out cold on the floor. Fifteen minutes my ass! The literature said fifteen minutes was when it'd start to take effect but in two minutes flat my blood pressure dropped so drastically I passed out. Imitrex is a vasodilator, thus decreasing the pain of a migraine. Vasodilation causes decrease in blood pressure and when you do that too quickly.... you're on the floor.

My husband carried me into our room and put me on the bed. I opened my eyes and I'm pretty sure I drooled all over the pillow. I couldn't even open my mouth to talk. The next hour was a blur of hanging the upper half of my body over the edge of the bed to try to get blood flow to my brain so I wouldn't pass out again and consciously trying to fill my lungs with oxygen. I literally couldn't breath. I was so sleepy, though, this was pretty hard to do. Then everything from my armpits up went numb. My face and scalp was so numb you probably could have done brain surgery on me and I wouldn't have cared.

It was at that point that I tried calling out to Pleroma. When you're scared you talk to God, right? Right. So I tried. "You hoooooo... anyone there?" I called and called and called. I could not feel the slightest sensation of connection, just a wall that I felt like banging my head against, but only because my head was so delightfully numb at that point. All I wanted was acknowledgement and a hug that everything was going to be ok. But all I got was a lot of nothing.

That lack of connection, that great divide which separated us for a time- it was torture!! While I lay there on the bed praying with all my heart to be able to feel him all I could think about was the fact that I knew he heard me and I was simply unable to hear him. With as little coherence as I was capable of I prayed a bunch of feeble gibberish. It's all I could do.

My headache went away for about two hours and then came back. This particular med can be taken again after two hours but I chose not to. I was too frightened. The next morning, however, I was blessedly pain free! Usually I have a lingering 'teaser' headache for a few days afterward; teasing that it may flare up once again. This time I didn't even feel a twinge.

So would I take Imitrex again? Yes, if I was sure it was going to be a bad one then yes, I'd take it. But the experience has taught me a valuable lesson about pharmaceuticals and our connection with the divine- pick your poison carefully and take it as infrequently as possible. When you feel that great divide suddenly spring back up in your mind it is truly terrifying. You feel like you've lost a part of yourself.

Bishop + Family = Shameful Hush Money?

2012-01-05T22:45:00.014-05:00

Blog author's comments below article.

Catholic bishop resigns, admits he has 2 kids

Archdiocese of Los Angeles assistant bishop had a secret family in another state

updated 1/4/2012 11:16:46 AM ET

VATICAN CITY — An assistant bishop of the Roman Catholic archdiocese of Los Angeles has resigned because he has a secret family, including two teenage children.

The Vatican said on Wednesday that Pope Benedict had accepted the resignation of Gabino Zavala, an auxiliary bishop of the diocese which has been plagued by sexual scandals.

A brief Vatican announcement did not give the reason for Zavala's resignation, saying only that the pope had accepted it under the norm in canon (Church law) that says a bishop who is ill or otherwise unfit to carry out his duties should resign.

But Zavala's direct superior, Los Angeles Archbishop Jose Gomez, has prepared a letter for the faithful in the archdiocese explaining the circumstances of the departure of Zavala, who was assistant bishop for the San Gabriel region of California.

In the letter, a draft of which was obtained from a Catholic Church source in Rome, Gomez said Zavala, 60, had informed him in early December that he was the father of two teenage children who live with their mother in another state.

The Catholic Church demands celibacy from its priests.

"Bishop Zavala also told me that he submitted his resignation to the Holy Father in Rome, which was accepted. Since that time, he has not been in ministry and will be living privately," Gomez says in the letter.

"The Archdiocese has reached out to the mother and children to provide spiritual care as well as funding to assist the children with college costs. The family's identity is not known to the public, and I wish to respect their right to privacy," the letter says.

Gomez asked for prayers "for all those impacted by this situation and for each other as we reflect on this letter."

Zavala's resignation under a cloud was the latest headache for the diocese, which paid a $660 million settlement in 2007 for cases of sexual abuse going as far back at the 1940.

Zavala was also the latest Catholic Church official who was found to have had a secret family.

The late leader of the Legionaries of Christ religious order, Father Marcial Maciel, who died in 2008 at the age of 87, lived a double life for decades that was not discovered until after his death.

Maciel, a Mexican, was found to have abused seminarians. He was also discovered to have had a mistress with whom he had fathered several children.

@@@~~@@@~~@@@~~@@@~~@@@~@@@

My most immediate concern with this situation was money.

"Since that time, he has not been in ministry and will be living privately," Gomez says in the letter.

Living privately. And supporting himself privately? Really? And then we learn that the Church is putting together a college fund for this bishop's children?! I am all for compassion but why exactly should faithful followers of the Church pay for this man's illegitimate(in his ex-employer's view) children? If I was one of those faithful I'd be frothing at the mouth mad. Compassion doesn't mean rolling over and handing people hush money. Not that it'd help in this case. The story would have gotten out any way. I do not understand the Catholic sense of 'compassion' here. Is it to make sure the kids don't get on the news circuit to tell what it was like having a bishop as a father?

Another commenter to this article states: "So, a bishop who has consensual sex with an adult resigns. Priests who rape children are allowed to continue being priests. Really?"

Someone else responded with, "Celibacy, was instituted in the 4th century, to keep the clergy from gathering wealth to pass on to their family's and children, thus depriving the Church of it's revenue; it is out of date and must be changed; the Vatican has now allowed married pastors of other faiths to convert to Catholic and become Catholic priests and remain married; if the Catholic Church wants to exist in the next century it will do away with celibacy."

Hear hear! Get your grove on and then get into the organization of your choice! (sarcasm) But I agree that the celibacy yoke needs to be removed from their requirements. If you're in a position of authority over people's souls(supposedly) then why put this sort of stipulation in the job contract which most people can't keep to? I think it is a recipe for failure by its very nature. Celibacy should be a private choice, not part of a job contract.

Wise Men

2011-12-31T08:09:00.009-05:00

I read a sign outside a local church today:

"Even wise men constantly strive toward a closer communion with the savior."

Sage advice to ring in the New Year. The parent-child connection between the good god and man means it is worthwhile to keep our hearts and minds open to new relationship advice. He only wants our hearts to be open and loving but there are times when we lose our temper. In those times he can give compassionate assistance in helping us detach ourselves from the situation to look at it from broader perspective.

In the grand scheme of things I think we may get too worked up over some very silly stuff.

And on that note, I think this would be a good time to list my New Year's Resolutions!

1) Yell less.
2) Listen more.
3) Fully understand that others are capable of solving their own problems and I don't have to be there to kiss every boo-boo just because I can.
4) Go easy on the Nutella. That stuff is addictive and I don't plan on buying a new wardrobe this year.

Breasts! OMG!

2011-12-30T22:36:00.014-05:00

Defiantly lactating in public, women across the USA have united and decided to go out to their local stores and feed their babies in order to show their support of a woman who was harassed in Texas.

Oh we have such horrid hang ups over the female body.... I can understand the act of procreating as something not to be seen in public but naturally feeding a child? Hey, the baby has NO problem whatsoever with it. All they see is foooood. Not booooob. Well, maybe they do equate the two in their mind and start furiously salivating in response to seeing one but seriously- WHAT is the big deal??? It's not like a woman is flashing you in a sexual way or anything. We have milk bags and sometimes they're used for what they were created for. Most moms hang a small blanket over their shoulder for privacy anyway and to keep their baby comforted.

The accompanying vid to the article is more informative but here's the article itself:

Breastfeeding In Flash Mobs Protest At Target Stores

By Cory Perrin 12/29/2011 10:06 PM ET

Breastfeeding Flash Mobs – Breastfeeding moms are so upset that they are taking their anger out in a protest against 100 Target stores. The mothers have created a flash mob and have joined the cause to support a fellow nursing mother who had an unpleasant experience.

Yesterday mothers around the US went to their local Target in full participation.

This was an act to support Michelle Hickman, a Texas mother, who felt she was being harassed by Target employee’s last month when she was nursing her infant son in the Fortune 500 retail store.

These flash mobs took place in 35 states following the story of Michelle Hickman being aired. According to the mother of four, she was nursing her baby in a remote area of the Target store in TX when employees approached her and asked her if she wanted to use a fitting room.

Hickman is receiving way more support than she ever imagined she would. She feels hopeful that the actions taken yesterday, December 28, will encourage Target to educate their employees about their breastfeeding policies.

________________

Good for you, moms!!! And according to Target's corporate offices, they do allow breast feeding mothers to do so anywhere they wish so it was the employee who was out of line, not the mother.

The more women push back and fight for what is natural and right then our laws will reflect this. My mother never fed me in a bathroom or a closet at work when I was nursing; she fought for the right to be comfortable and the men in her office spoke up in her defense as well. At break time and lunch she'd come and get me from the office nursery and feed me while chatting with co-workers. She fed me in restaurants and stores. And when another baby cried nearby, yes, my mother was the one running out to the car to change her shirt because she let down in a flood. It's natural.

Hilariously, my own husband thinks public breast feeding is 'indecent.' I told him that if our boys were still at that age I'd whip a breast out anywhere I felt like it and feed them. He looked at me like I had two heads. Then again, he's never had a great relationship with his own mother or the mother of his children so.... perhaps more a more prudish attitude was the result? I love him anyway but wow we butt heads on some weird stuff! lol

Bugs, Infections, and more Internet naughtiness

2011-12-22T03:43:00.009-05:00

The above lolcat photo accurately depicts my frustration when dealing with my mother today who, Pleroma love her, has the common sense of a mouse when it comes to dealing with technology of any sort. I had to set up her address book for her with her cell phone, show her how to work her cable box remote, and now... NOW I have to figure out how to reformat her computer because she clicked on one of those antivirus protection program pop-ups which are, in fact, an invitation to download the virus itself which will wipe out your hard drive. We've done this twice now in the past year. It's a tad bit frustrating.

So that was my day. I am about ready to rip out her computer and chuck the damn thing out the window.

And in other news my in-laws are starting fights with my husband, yet again, trying to get him all riled up so that he'll divorce me(snickersnort) and complaining about his children supposedly being used for slave labor around our house because I make them do all their laundry, clean their room, and their bathroom. Oh and heaven forbid they vacuum the living room once a week to help me out because if I use the vacuum cleaner it makes my whiplash flare like hot pokers are being shoved through my neck. Heaven forbid a ten and an eleven year old take care of their belongings and help take care of the house. We wouldn't want to teach the poor little dears how to have responsibility, now would we?

Is it a full moon or something?

'Tis the Season to royally make our blood pressure go sky high. I am really starting to despise the holidays. This happens every year with my husband's family and I swear that next year I'm considering hibernating my way from October 15th until January the 5th with the help of tranquilizers. I wish my husband had the same option. I really feel for the guy. His side of the family just plain likes fighting. I don't know why but they do. All I know is that after the past two days of their shenanigans we are both so emotionally exhausted that we turned our phones off.

The kids will come back in two weeks with attitudes from hearing all that crap and... ugh. Every. Time. I hate it.

Why can't we all just get along?

Day-to-Day Gnosis

2011-12-19T22:48:00.007-05:00

Everyone's journey is different but there are key insights which all gnostics can agree on:

1) Make love not war, it's so much more fun. *wink*
2) There is no One Way toward gnosis. There is no certified Correct way which will earn you points in Heaven and you're not damned to hellfire and brimstone if you 'screw it up' a few times. Those bumps in the road on your path toward gnosis are all lessons learned and have far more worth than what you may see right now. Consider them the 'flavor' in your pot of gumbo you call Life.
3) We take ourselves far too seriously- LAUGH! Life is the most hilarious rollercoaster ride we could ever imagine experiencing. We're all imagining it together and that is what makes it more fun.
4) Live lucidly; minute by minute and hour by hour. This lifetime is fleeting so live life in the moment and enjoy whatever we can whenever we can. Count your blessings by the ounce, not the pound.
5) Living is not the same thing as learning. Learning takes effort and mindfulness to the task. Just because you see something happening doesn't mean you've learned from it. Seeing and doing is not the same thing as retention.
6) All living creatures are connected through pleroma(the fullness/the totality). Respect ourselves and one another. We are one another. If we remember this and live like this then we can truly be at peace with ourselves and one another. Big Love is the answer.
7) There is no such thing as a coincidence. Irony, yes. Comedy and poetic justice, most definitely. The All does have a wicked sense of humor. But there is no such thing as a coincidence.
8) Everyone talks to themselves and when we do we are reinforcing our own innate wisdom. It's something we do by instinct. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we are wise beings so we don't get bogged down in the day-to-day crap that we forget our divine heritage.
9) Past is not prologue! We can learn from our mistakes and our bright sparks will shine all the more brightly for it. Dare to break the mold of what your friends/family members may tell you is your fate. It's your life. So live it!
10) Dream. And then share those dreams with others. Communicate your visions so that others can know they are not alone.
11) And if you're really depressed take a look around at Nature. It'll always give you a good chuckle. Take this cat for example:

See, you're laughing and already further on your path toward gnosis than you were five minute ago!

If we can't laugh at life and the quirky creatures and situations we're surrounded with then truly, what can we laugh at? We tend to get angry with other human beings but animals.... animals show us what we need to see. Like for example: the not-so-subtle hint that you're out of toilet paper; a priceless lesson in humility.

I Love You Always Forever

2011-12-13T02:26:00.012-05:00

Here's an adorable blast from the past- 1996 to be specific. I heard this song playing in a store today and it's stayed with me all evening. Listen to it and see if you can feel Someone trying to give you a nudge to smile more today. Because He really does love you. Always and forever.

I Love You Always Forever
By: Donna Lewis

This vid I've embedded below has the clearest sounding lyrics but doesn't have the original television visual clips. Linked here is the original vid from back in '96 if you'd like to see it but the vocals are too soft really to be clear. Heck, I was unsure of a few lines and had to look them up so I could post them for you below! She speaks quite softly in several verses.

Feels like
I'm standing
in a timeless dream of light mists
Of pale amber rose
Feels like
I'm lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
touching
Discovering you.

Those days
of warm rains
come rushing back to me
Miles of windless
summer night air
Secret moments
shared in the heat of the afternoon
Out of the stillness
Soft spoken words

Say it, say it again

[Chorus:]
I love you always forever
Near and far closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you
[Repeat]

You've got
the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen
You've got
me almost melting away
As we lay there
under a blue sky with pure white stars
Exotic sweetness
a magical time

Say it, say it again

[Chorus x2]

Say you'll love love me forever
Never stop, never whatever
Near and far and always
And everywhere and everything
[Repeat x4]

[Chorus x2]

Beautiful Heavens

2011-12-07T00:30:00.003-05:00

In the Boötes constellation there is a celestial reminder that grammar counts: VV 340. Beautiful, yes?

Australia's Uranium Deal

2011-12-06T00:31:00.008-05:00

http://news.yahoo.com/video/business-15749628/australia-set-to-sell-uranium-to-india-27482406.html (vid)

Oh Australia.... I weep for what I see in the future for this deal. Some crazed people a little north and far west of India will be more than happy to take those wonderful barrels of uranium off your hands. They'll give you a fair deal, too. They'll wait at least a decade or so before taking out the really big population cities.

If there was ever a time to decline a business proposition for the sake of peace and prosperity of the human race long term then I'd say this would be it for Australia. Does India need the uranium? No. They want it. But someone else who thinks they need it and who has a stronger will to survive will likely start WW3 because of it.

Folks, what happened to solar, wind, and water energy? Hell, my ELEVEN YEAR OLD just came up with the plans last week in his Science class for a neat energy alternative-- harnessing sound waves and turning it into electricity. The boy will be in highschool by the time he's twelve(that is true, he's doing all of middle school in one year) and he'll probably be in engineering school by the time he's sixteen or seventeen. There are bright minds in this world today; bright sparks who know beyond the shadow of a doubt there are peaceful alternatives besides being so arrogant and prideful with our chemistry prowess that we outsmart ourselves straight into extinction.

Let us hope the worst does not happen. And in the meantime let us also make ourselves heard. We do not need nuclear energy to thrive as a species. We need to use our common sense and say no to death and destruction.

Quiver Full

2011-11-09T02:22:00.011-05:00

In honor of the Duggar family announcing their twentieth pregnancy I am posting a link to a wonderful letter from an ex-Quiverfull mother. I found it a riveting read. Hope you enjoy it.

Holy books are great if you read and comprehend them for the METAPHORS they are. I think the Quiverfull cult is pretty sick in that regard. I'm not concerned with the world's population, honestly. We tend to thin ourselves out fairly well with wars and diseases. I think the Quiverfull movement is sick because of the convenient patriarchal societal expectations set for the women. I have a helluva time virtual schooling my two demanding kids and they get all the attention they could possibly crave from me!! And sometimes I just have to tell them that it's time for Mommy to be alone for a while.

How someone deals with more than four kids is absolutely mind boggling. I only have two and this is with the support of a husband who is not only financially supportive but my own emotional Coach in the 'honey, please don't tear your hair out. I love you. I'd hate to see you with bald spots just because the kids are trying to drive you insane' corner of the ring. He goes to bat for me every day and I don't bow down to him.

Reading that woman's story made me feel quite a bit better about how well I'm holding it together here in our house. I might go a bit foamy-at-the-mouth some afternoons trying to cook dinner, wash clothes, get grading done, play interference between brothers who're trying to provoke a fight over whose friend should come over, etc.... But we survive. And we THRIVE! But you add another kid in the equation here and I'd be needing some pretty hefty tranquilizers. (For me, not the kids.)

I'm not saying that some people can't make magic happen in their house and manage to make raising ten kids look like it's nothing but I do wonder how much Xanax their popping behind that bathroom door a few times a day. And if you're so stressed out how can you tend to your own spiritual needs when you have God's Army waiting to be instructed, potty trained, and tucked into bed at night?

State vs. Fed Marijuana Laws

2011-10-06T23:40:00.005-04:00

This is pretty saddening. There are people who really need marijuana for a variety of reasons and to go through this nightmare of fighting Uncle Sam the same time your state says you're in the clear.... my heart goes out to you.

To those who are in the middle of this: Stay strong! Keep up the good fight. Personally, I'd much rather smoke a joint than pop pills to stay calm. There are too many side effects with Xanax and those other Big Pharma drugs.

Calif. pot dispensaries told by feds to shut down

U.S. prosecutors send letters even though state law allows

By LISA LEFF

updated 10/6/2011 7:56:13 PM ET

SAN FRANCISCO — Federal prosecutors are cracking down on some pot dispensaries in California, warning the stores that they must shut down in 45 days or face criminal charges and confiscation of their property even if they are operating legally under the state's 15-year-old medical marijuana law.

In an escalation of the ongoing conflict between the U.S. government and the nation's burgeoning medical marijuana industry, at least 16 pot shops or their landlords received letters this week stating they are violating federal drug laws, even though medical marijuana is legal in California. The state's four U.S. attorneys were scheduled Friday to announce a broader coordinated crackdown.

Their offices refused Thursday to confirm the closure orders. The Associated Press obtained copies of the letters that a prosecutor sent to at least 12 San Diego dispensaries. They state that federal law "takes precedence over state law and applies regardless of the particular uses for which a dispensary is selling and distributing marijuana."

"Under United States law, a dispensary's operations involving sales and distribution of marijuana are illegal and subject to criminal prosecution and civil enforcement actions," according to the letters signed by U.S. Attorney Laura Duffy in San Diego. "Real and personal property involved in such operations are subject to seizure by and forfeiture to the United States ... regardless of the purported purpose of the dispensary."

The move comes a little more than two months after the Obama administration toughened its stand on medical marijuana. For two years before that, federal officials had indicated they would not move aggressively against dispensaries in compliance with laws in the 16 states where pot is legal for people with doctors' recommendations.

The Department of Justice issued a policy memo to federal prosecutors in late June stating that marijuana dispensaries and licensed growers in states with medical marijuana laws could face prosecution for violating federal drug and money-laundering laws. The effort to shutter California dispensaries appeared to be the most far-reaching effort so far to put that guidance into action.

"This really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. The administration is simply making good on multiple threats issued since President Obama took office," said Kevin Sabet, a former adviser to the president's drug czar and a fellow at the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Substance Abuse Solutions. "The challenge is to balance the scarcity of law enforcement resources and the sanctity of this country's medication approval process. It seems like the administration is simply making good on multiple statements made previously to appropriately strike that balance."

Greg Anton, a lawyer who represents dispensary Marin Alliance for Medical Marijuana, said its landlord received an "extremely threatening" letter Wednesday invoking a federal law that imposes additional penalties for selling drugs within 1,000 feet of schools, parks and playgrounds.

The landlord was ordered to evict the 14-year-old pot club or risk imprisonment, plus forfeiture of the property and all the rent he has collected while the dispensary has been in business, Anton said.

Marin Alliance's founder "has been paying state and federal taxes for 14 years, and they have cashed all the checks," he said. "All I hear from Obama is whining about his budget, but he has money to do this which will actually reduce revenues."

Kris Hermes, a spokesman for the medical marijuana advocacy group Americans for Safe Access, said the warnings are part of what appears to be an attempt by the Obama administration to curb medical marijuana on multiple fronts and through multiple agencies. A series of dispensary raids in Montana, for example, involved agents from not only the FBI and U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, but the Internal Revenue Service and Environmental Protection Agency.

Going after property owners is not a new tactic though, Hermes said. Five years ago, the Department of Justice under President George W. Bush made similar threats to about 300 Los Angeles-area landlords who were renting space to medical marijuana outlets, some of whom were eventually evicted or closed their doors voluntarily, he said.

"It did have an impact. However, the federal government never acted on its threats, never prosecuted anybody, never even went to court to begin prosecutions," Hermes said. "By and large, they were empty threats, but they relied on them and the cost of postage to shut down as many facilities as they could without having to engage in criminal enforcement activity."

Besides the dozen dispensaries in San Diego and the one in Marin County, at least three shops in San Francisco already have received closure notices, said Dale Gieringer, director of the California chapter of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws.

The San Diego medical marijuana outlets put on notice were the same 12 that city officials sued last month for operating illegally, after activists there threatened to force an election on a zoning plan adopted to regulate the city's fast-growing medical marijuana industry, City Attorney Jan Goldsmith said. A judge on Wednesday ordered nine of the targeted shops to close, while the other three shut down voluntarily, Goldsmith said.

Duffy, the U.S. attorney for far Southern California, planned to issue warning letters to property owners and all of the 180 or so dispensaries that have proliferated in San Diego in the absence of compromise regulations, according to Goldsmith.

"The real power is with the federal government," he said. "They have the asset forfeiture, and that means either the federal government will own a lot of property or these landlords will evict a lot of dispensaries."

Infinity takes a backseat

2011-10-03T20:28:00.010-04:00

When you read this article think about all the possibilities which could have existed in the past two thousand years but didn't. Think of the technological death which occurred (several times, in fact!) due to literalist religions stamping down any new ideas and stringing people up in a noose, tossing them on a bonfire, crucifying them, or pulling them between two horses(or trees) until their bodies fell apart.

It is sobering to see just how far the human mind pushed itself, willingly, testing boundaries of the physical world on paper or animal skins because we had no other way to do so physically. So naturally now that we have the ability to test the physical world the majority of us sit on our asses and play XBox360 numbing ourselves to the infinite possibilities which exist all around.

We need more Archimedes and Einsteins to wake us up.

Idea of Infinity Stretched Back to Third Century B.C.By: Robin Lloyd

Date: 17 February 2009 Time: 05:49 AM ET

CHICAGO - The first mathematical use of the concept of actual infinity has been pushed back some 2,000 years via a new analysis of a tattered page of parchment on which a medieval monk in Constantinople copied the third century B.C. work of the Greek mathematician Archimedes.

Infinity is one of the most fundamental questions in mathematics and still remains an unsolved riddle. For instance, if you add or subtract a number from infinity, the remaining value is still infinity, some Indian philosophers said. Mathematicians today refer to actual infinity as an uncountable set of numbers such as the number of points existing on a line at the same time, while a potential infinity is an endless sequence that unfolds consecutively over time.

The parchment page comes from the 348-page Archimedes Palimpsest, the oldest copy of some of the Greek genius' writings, which were hidden for centuries because a monk partly scraped them off the animal-skin parchment in the 13th century A.D. to clear the pages to print a prayer book. Also, a forger painted pictures over the prayer book hundreds of years after that.

A scholar named Johan Ludvig Heiberg in 1906 studied the written remnants behind the religious words to discover the Palimpsest, finding evidence of Archimedes' systematic use of the concept of infinity in a portion of the document called the Method of Mechanical Theorems. In the past few years, the Palimpsest was re-examined at a far higher level of detail using multispectral imaging and also a hair-thin X-ray scanning technique at Stanford University's Synchrotron Radiation Lightsource in California. The scanner can image a million pixels in less than one hour.

With one of the X-ray images, Stanford classicist Reviel Netz made out the edge of a torn page, where Heiberg had figured just one line of text was missing. The X-rays produced images of iron from the ink used on the document.

Netz examined the scan and was able to deduce the presence of previously unseen Greek letters, kappa and alpha, which were likely followed by an iota to spell the Greek word for "and." This led Netz to conclude that two lines were missing, rather than one and to arrive at a new reading of the passage, physicist Uwe Bergmann of the Synchrotron facility told a small group of reporters here Sunday at the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

"Scholars are now talking about some new words which are emerging in the reconstruction of the evidence in introduction to the Method, that Archimedes' concept of infinity was rather different from what was previously thought," Bergmann said.

In fact, the new reading reveals that Archimedes was engaged in math that made conceptual use of actual infinity, as Netz describes on the Web site ArchimedesPalimpsest.org. The calculations involved adding infinite numbers of sums, such as the number of triangles inside a prism, as well as the number of lines inside a rectangle. Archimedes tried to argue that these values are equal to each other, making a statement about actual infinity, not just potential infinity, Nets writes.

The Palimpsest resides at the Walters Museum of Art in Baltimore.

The Archimedes Palimpsest project forced researchers to come up with a new system to scan large objects, Bergmann said. A commercial-grade X-ray scanning machine might take a year to complete a scan that the Stanford Synchrotron now can complete in half a day, he said.

"It is now taking milliseconds rather than seconds to get each pixel — that has been for us the great novelty," he said.

Gnosis in the News

2011-10-03T20:06:00.006-04:00

Ahh Valentinus! How gnostics are rejoicing now!

Some beautiful verses were found. Enjoy, Readers!

World's Earliest Christian Engraving Shows Surprising Pagan Elements

Owen Jarus, LiveScience Contributor
Date: 30 September 2011 Time: 10:09 AM ET

Researchers have identified what is believed to be the world's earliest surviving Christian inscription, shedding light on an ancient sect that followed the teachings of a second-century philosopher named Valentinus.

Officially called NCE 156, the inscription is written in Greek and is dated to the latter half of the second century, a time when the Roman Empire was at the height of its power.

An inscription is an artifact containing writing that is carved on stone. The only other written Christian remains that survive from that time period are fragments of papyri that quote part of the gospels and are written in ink. Stone inscriptions are more durable than papyri and are easier to display. NCE 156 also doesn't quote the gospels directly; instead, its inscription alludes to Christian beliefs.

"If it is in fact a second-century inscription, as I think it probably is, it is about the earliest Christian material object that we possess," study researcher Gregory Snyder, of Davidson College in North Carolina, told LiveScience.

Snyder, who detailed the finding in the most recent issue of the Journal of Early Christian Studies, believes it to be a funeral epigram, incorporating both Christian and pagan elements. His work caps 50 years of research done by multiple scholars, much of it in Italian. The inscription is in the collection of the Capitoline Museums in Rome.

"Assuming that Professor Snyder is right, it's clearly the earliest identifiable Christian inscription," said Paul McKechnie, a professor of ancient history at Macquarie University in Australia, who has also studied the inscription.

As translated by Snyder, the inscription reads:

To my bath, the brothers of the bridal chamber carry the torches,
[here] in our halls, they hunger for the [true] banquets,
even while praising the Father and glorifying the Son.
There [with the Father and the Son] is the only spring and source of truth.

Details on the provenance of the inscription are sketchy. It was first published in 1953 by Luigi Moretti in the "Bullettino della commissione archeologica comunale di Roma," an Italian archaeological journal published annually.

The only reference to where it was found is a note scribbled on a squeeze (a paper impression) of the inscription, Snyder said. According to that note, it was found in the suburbs of Rome near Tor Fiscale, a medieval tower. In ancient times, the location of the tower would have been near mile four of a roadway called the Via Latina.

How was it dated?

Margherita Guarducci, a well-known Italian epigrapher who passed away in 1999, proposed a second-century date for the inscription more than four decades ago. She argued that the way it was written, with a classical style of Greek letters, was only used in Rome during the first and second centuries.

After that, the letters change; for instance, the letter omega, Ω, changes into something closer to the letter w. The letter Sigma, Σ, changes into a symbol that resembles the letter c.

Snyder essentially added more evidence to Guarducci's theory. He analyzed a 1968 catalog of more than 1,700 inscriptions from Rome called "Inscriptiones graecae urbis Romae." He found 53 cases of Greek inscriptions with classical letterforms.

"Not one case is to be found in which, in the judgment of the [catalog]editors, an inscription with the classical letter forms found in NCE 156 can be securely placed in the mid-third or fourth century," Snyder wrote in his paper.

In addition, Snyder analyzed an inventory of inscriptions from nearby Naples, published in a series of two volumes in the 1990s called "Iscrizioni greche d'Italia." He found only two examples that might date into the third century. "In sum, Guarducci's case for a second-century date for NCE 156 is stronger than ever," he wrote.

McKechnie said that, after reviewing Snyder's work, he agrees with the date. "The first time I read his article I was far from sure, but the second time I read it I was convinced by his argument about the letter shape."

Who was Valentinus?

The author of the inscription likely followed the teachings of a man named Valentinus, an early Christian teacher who would eventually be declared a heretic, Snyder said. The presence of the inscription suggests that a community of his followers may have lived on the Via Latina during the second century.

"We know that Valentinus was a famous Gnostic teacher in the second century (who) lived in Rome for something like 20 years, and was a very sophisticated ... poetic, talented, thinker, speaker, writer."

His teachings are believed to be preserved, to some degree, in the Gospel of Philip, a third-century anthology that was discovered in 1945 in the town of Nag Hammadi in Egypt. That gospel is a collection of gnostic beliefs, some of which were probably composed in the second century, that are written in a cryptic manner. However, like the inscription, it also refers prominently to a "bridal chamber."

One example, near the end of the gospel, reads in part:

The mysteries of truth are revealed, though in type and image. The bridal chamber, however, remains hidden. It is the Holy in the Holy. The veil at first concealed how God controlled the creation, but when the veil is rent and the things inside are revealed, this house will be left desolate, or rather will be destroyed. And the whole (inferior) godhead will flee from here, but not into the holies of the holies, for it will not be able to mix with the unmixed light and the flawless fullness, but will be under the wings of the cross and under its arms...

(Translation by Wesley Isenberg)

"It's not quite clear what it [the bridal chamber] is, it's explained to some degree, but explained in cryptic terms in the Gospel of Philip, it's a ritual involving freedom and purification and union with the deity," McKechnie said.

Perhaps rather than an actual ritual, the bridal chamber is a metaphor.

"It may be a metaphor for something that happens in death — maybe it's a kind of ritual that happens when people are still alive. That you achieve a new kind of existence or spiritual status based on this kind of wedding with your spiritual ideal counterpart," Snyder said.

"Some groups may have celebrated it as a concrete ritual, others perhaps sawit in metaphorical terms. I like the idea that it is connected with the death of the believer, who has cast off the mortal coil and enjoys a new life in the spirit," he added in a follow-up email.

But there were some important differences between Valentinians and other early Christians. "Valentinians in particular, and gnostics more generally, most of them wouldn't, for example, get martyred," McKechnie said. "They wouldn't think it was wrong or unlawful to do the things that Christian martyrs refused to do, like take an oath in the name of Caesar or offer incense to a statue or that kind of thing."

The reason for their lack of bias has to do with the Valentinians' beliefs about all things physical. "They believed that not only matter and the physical world was evil, but also that matter and the physical world was unimportant," McKechnie said. "Therefore, it was unimportant what you or what your body did in the physical world."

"It's mostly about the world of the mind."

Valentinians were also likely influenced by earlier Greek philosophers such as Plato, Snyder has found, though he doesn't think they would have interpreted the story of the resurrection of Jesus in a literal way.

"It's certainly not the case that they would have considered that to be a physical resurrection," he said. "Christians of this particular variety (who incorporated Plato's philosophy) generally speaking saw the material body as something not so desirable, not so good."

Christian and pagan

When analyzing the inscription, Snyder also noticed some similarities with funeral epigrams composed for non-Christians. In those inscriptions, the wedding imagery is used in a tragic way.

One example, written about 2,100 years ago, reads in part:

I am Theophila, short-lived daughter of Hecateus. The ghosts of the unmarried dead were courting me, a young maiden, for marriage, Hades outstripped the others and seized me, for he desired me, looking upon me as a Persephone more desirable than Persephone. And when he carved the letters on her tombstone, he wept for the girl Theophila from Sinope, her father Hecateus, who composed the wedding torches not for marriage but for Hades...

(Translation by Gregory Snyder)

"Typically, that wedding imagery is tragic," said Snyder. "Here's the promising young person entering into the prime of life, suddenly snatched away, and betrothed, married to Hades."

What the second-century Christian inscription does is turn this convention on its head. "They're playing with that... it's not decline, it's looking forward to a new life."

Snyder said that the mix of Christian and pagan traditions in the inscription is striking. He told LiveScience that he's studied early Christian paintings on the Via Latina that mix biblical themes, such as the story of Samson or the raising of Lazarus, along with figures from classical mythology, like that of Hercules.

"Those kinds of things I find particularly interesting, because they seem to suggest a period of time in which a Christian identity is flexible," Snyder said. "Is it just a simple either/or between pagan and Christian?" he asked. "Or is there really something rather like a spectrum? Or are you really sort of both in certain respects?"

Hearing The Phone Ring

2011-09-30T01:14:00.008-04:00

"He didn't believe in anything real. He only believed in what he saw."

I don't know who that message is for I just know that I am supposed to post it here. Someone was being cryptic today and blurted that out when I was on the edge of sleep. If it's for you then I hope it helps you.

Procrastination And Living With Blinders On

2011-09-20T18:39:00.009-04:00

Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy's book The Laughing Jesus talks about 'living lucidly' in chapter ten. I equate this task with removing the blinders and getting up off our spiritual butts. It's very difficult to stay disciplined with the way ordinary life slips in, demanding our immediate attention. The authors had interesting things to say about procrastination concerning gnosis:

"Life is a game of awakening and the way we win is remarkably simple. We live or ordinary life, just as we have always done, but we choose to live consciously. We recognize that even the most seemingly trivial events are opportunities to enjoy the moment and love others. We embrace the stranger who serves us at the local shop with big love, because we no longer see them as just a cashier, we know they are also the mystery made manifest. And when we love others we may help them wake up and become more loving. In this way we can send out ripples of kindness wherever we go.

We wake up by approaching our everyday existence as an ongoing spiritual exercise. Not in some overly serious way, but like a game we enjoy playing. Yet it does also have a serious aspect. Life will naturally present us with the challenges we need to become more conscious, some of which can be hard to face, and the best way to avoid being pushed is to keep moving.

We tend to think that it is when we feel bad that we need to wake up and when we feel good everything is fine as it is. But actually it is often when we are enjoying life that we become most unconscious. When life is bad we are impelled to do something about it and we may take a step forward on our journey of awakening. But when we feel good it is tempting to settle into a comfortable unconsciousness. We need to pay attention to waking up all of the time, not just when we are pushed into it because we felt bad.

Once we understand that the game of life is about waking up and that what we really want is to love this moment, we will cease distracting ourselves with the relentless quest for transitory satisfaction, through accumulating material possessions, acquiring social status and attaining personal power. We will stop numbing the pain of separateness with TV and trivia. Instead we will give our precious attention to the process of awakening. We will stop seeing lucid living as an attractive idea and make it a reality. We will stop procrastinating and go for it."

As I write this my ten year old son is sitting out at the dining room table sobbing his little heart out because he procrastinated all day long on school work and now here it is only a few minutes before Daddy gets home and he swears he's going to be killed. It's always just before Daddy gets home that the kid looks at the clock and freaks out.

I've given him pep talks ten times a day. I've taken away all his toys, electronics privileges, had him write papers concerning procrastinating, and even had him write essays forcing him to give HIMSELF a pep talk to stop procrastinating; listing all the reasons it's not such a good idea and specifically what he loses by doing it. But we still haven't broken through that barrier in his mind.

As the two good authors say, "you have to want to wake up more than you want to stay asleep."

And as I've asked my youngest time and time again, "why are you stopping yourself?"

Children teach us patience in surprising ways. I look at him and at times think, 'why can't he do this?! It's easy! If he gets done then he gets free time. What's the issue? I got done with my school work in a reasonable amount of time when I was a kid. What's the big deal?'

But to him it is a big deal. So I get to watch him overcome this demon and in the process learn more about him and myself. Can I be patient enough to not scream at him every time I see him staring off into space or 'accidentally' dropping his eraser on the floor for the thousandth time? Can I be compassionate enough to let him learn from his mistakes? Can I be strict enough to enforce that no work will carry over to the next day and watch him sit, miserable, at the table until 11pm? It's no fun for me or my husband. We don't get anything out of it. This is a roadblock of our son's making and his life is his own journey. But our journeys sure do intersect an awful lot!! And that's where loving others with Big Love comes in handy. I can give John a big loud kiss on the cheek, hug him tightly, tell him that I love him with all my heart... but afterward I still have to nudge him toward the table to get his school work done.

We're only human

2011-09-20T18:09:00.001-04:00

"Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for."
Earl Warren
1891-1974

Keep looking for those 'answers'

2011-09-18T01:36:00.007-04:00

Einstein said, "the important thing is to not stop questioning."

But does the Right Answer exist? .... I don't think so. I think it's all subjective to our own mindset and circumstances. In most cases there's going to be someone who feels they were Wrong and the Right person is just a jackass. Or vice versa.

I don't want to be in a coma, metaphysically or physically. Or religiously. But the past few months I've been questioning things that are more mundane and it leaves me truly befuddled how disillusioned we can become (and continue to be!!) just to continue to 'not rock the boat.'

I am speaking of relationships, obviously; one I can't change easily. Like I tell my two stepsons, "you can't change people, you can only nudge them or influence them." I wish I could take my own advice sometimes. I feel like I've got a big fat granite boulder sitting on top of my neck instead of a real cranium with a brain contained therein.

So now the question evolved into, "what am I going to do?" I can't change this person. I can nudge, influence, shout and scream, but at the end of the day nothing will change this person's behavior because they don't see the danger in it.

Anti-Gnostics

2011-09-11T04:14:00.012-04:00

A few months ago I found a Christian site devoted to rooting out the 'scourge' that is Gnosticism. Great read! I really enjoyed it. It's always nice to know what ten layers of hell people are wishing on you. Or just how confused they are about gnosis. This was their home: (http://www.intotruth.org/apostasy/NewGnostics.htm) This is the only link I have. It's dead now. The whole site is gone.

I did a search for some of the following quotes from a particularly enlightening article but found pieces of it all over the place. Narrowing it down I discovered that it was part of a sermon called "Understanding the New Gnosticism" by Don Clasen. It is now listed in its entirety on the SermonIndex.net site here: http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/articles/index.php?view=article&aid=11018 The portion I am quoting below is found about ten paragraphs from the bottom in the full length sermon.

Mr. Clasen's sermon is cringe-worthy. He jumps all over the place between the literal interpretation of holy scripture and what he thinks gnostics believe. You have to be really careful about how you read it or you'll get lost in the maze of his rationale. (I think I found our modern Irenaeus, btw.) He says:

"It's interesting to note that after Adam and Eve ate of the tree, the first thing they noticed was that they were naked and they hid themselves. The implication is that until then they had the glory of God clothing them, the very presence of God. That removal of Himself from them was when they spiritually died, as it ruptured their walk with Him.

But it also had another consequence. They now were stuck with an undue self-consciousness, a consciousness of their own selves. Before this, they were conscious of themselves but the presence of God was an even stronger consciousness. And to this day, people partake of an endless quest to "get back to the Garden". They will take drugs, meditate, dance, chant--do lots of repetitious things, in order to enter into an "altered state of consciousness".

Why? Because they want relief from the tyranny of self-consciousness for a while. Perhaps it's because we instinctively know we're unworthy, and that there's Someone or something out there worth plugging into."

_____________________________________________

Unworthy?!! RELIEF from the TYRANNY of self-consciousness?!! You mean relief from responsibility. That's what this ultimately boils down to. If you don't have to THINK then you can't be held responsible for your sheep-like actions.

That's it. You've convinced me and converted me. I'm throwing all my sins on Jesus and leaving my brain behind. I am 'washed in his blood' and am now sinless. I draw the line at voting Republican, though, just because that's what my church says I should. My ballot is between me and the Lord.

The fact that Mr. Clasen believes gnostics are to be vilified because, "They're always seeking for some newer and deeper revelation of God and His Kingdom" says a bit about what he believes a relationship with God should be like: one sided and boring as hell.

He also says: "Gnostics generally tended then to one of two extremes in dealing with life. Either they became ascetics, in an attempt to starve the flesh to death so to speak. Or they became libertines because since the flesh was evil, it is not part of the "real you" which is spiritual because it's been "enlightened" by Gnostic "revelation".

And that, my dear readers, is a line straight from the infamous Irenaeus himself.

From a masochist to a hedonist? ...Yes. I have to agree with him on this point. It's all about finding a balance. We do tend to veer off to extremes at times. And so do the Literalists. The Franciscan order is quite comfortable with the concept of ritualized self-flagellation and I haven't seen any skeletal looking clergy in quite a while; most are pleasantly plump. Pot/kettle, much?

Picasso's Vision

2011-09-11T02:21:00.011-04:00

Pablo Picasso said, "Painting is just another way of keeping a diary."

On that I feel I must agree to a certain extent. As a sporadic painter I most often feel driven to pick up a brush when I am at my most sensitive and vulnerable. Most of the time I am not quite sure what I want to express until after it's already out there and on the paper/canvas/board. And as this quote of Picasso's jumped out at me from the tag on a bag of tea this afternoon(Good Earth brand, Black Tea "Tropical Peach" YUM!) it has stayed in my heart the rest of the evening.

As I dug through my files of art I tripped across this old painting and I wanted to share it with you. I think it would be closest to what Picasso is talking about, at least for me personally.

When I was a toddler I drowned in a pool. I lay there on the bottom staring up at the sky. This is what I saw(click on it for a better view):

This watercolor painting/collage on board was done in 2007. I don't have the original any more. Once I was done with it I scanned it and then destroyed the actual painting. I felt free. So here you go. Here's a page out of my 'diary.'

Islamic Words of Wisdom

2011-09-05T18:25:00.005-04:00

"What is the best type of Jihad [struggle]?" He answered: "Speaking truth before a tyrannical ruler."

This contradicts the following scriptures in such a stark way that it seems impossible the same person(or group of people) wrote the Qur'an.

"Whoever desires a religion other than Islam in the next world he shall be among the losers."
"One may be negligent toward God but one must be respectful toward Muhammad."

Megalomania has no place in gnosis and warmongering prophets are always suspect. Especially when promises of several baker's dozen virgins are dangled in front of a sinful man as if he were in a bakery and not about to blow himself up to fight 'the infidel.' What happened to 'speaking truth'? It has been replaced with totalitarian sparked violence and this is truly distressing. Literalists pitted against literalists. There are no winners here- no matter what sect of religion you profess faith in.

Universal love is invisible, it seems. Like 'magic' ink it disappears on paper and if it's not visible then it can't possible exist. But if it's written on the heart it is eternally visible.

And so seekers of gnosis are left picking piecemeal bits of wisdom from the Qur'an just like any other spiritually inspired text.

Heavy Words of Gnostic Wisdom From Socrates

2011-09-04T07:32:00.003-04:00

"There is a doctrine uttered in secret that man is a prisoner who has no right to open the door of his prison and run away."

"Wars and revolutions and battles are due simply and solely to the body and its desires. All wars are undertaken for the acquisition of wealth; and the reason why we have to acquire wealth is the body, because we are slaves in its service."

Pre-Christian Era Gnostics

2011-08-20T08:21:00.007-04:00

The Roman Vitruvius writes: "Let no one think I have erred if I believe in the Logos."

Orpheus was claimed to have said, "Behold the Logos divine. Tread well the narrow path of life and gaze on Him, the world's greatest ruler, our immortal king."

Logos is described by the earliest Church fathers(whose doctrines directly stemmed from gnostic ideas!) such as Clement and Origen, as being the "Idea of Ideas," or God's primal thought. As if the Oneness of God were a thought or idea that we can barely describe because the actuality of it is so complex. Or so simple and profound that it does not yet have the ability to be described in any spoken language we possess. It's like saying that you remember the first breath you took once you left your mother's body. Was it conscious or not? What were your first thoughts? Again, the idea of the birth of life itself is so immense that most gnostics are left writing poetry and riddles.

It's interesting because gnostics across the globe who have come to gnosis alone and in solitude, once they begin talking to one another they speak the same language. They use similar metaphors to describe their journey or the feeling of closeness to the All. So there is something they all share; something innate, intimate and abiding; patiently waiting for the right moment to spring forth. I believe it is the very thing Orson Scott Card wrote about in his line of Ender's Game books: the philotic web theory.

Heraclitus said in the sixth century BC, "Logos is shared by all," and "Having hearkened not unto me, but unto the Logos, it is wise to confess that all things are one."

Origen also said, "As our body, while consisting of many members, is yet held together by one soul, so the universe is thought of as an immense living being, which is held together by One Soul- the power and the Logos of God."

Amy Winehouse = Nina Simone Reborn?

2011-07-24T02:20:00.022-04:00

Veering off the road a bit from the topic of gnosis I'd like to pay tribute to two wonderful singers.

Beyond listening to the song "Rehab" and watching the crazed news blurbs about her drunken and drug induced states of mental instability, I honestly have not followed much of Amy Winehouse's career. However when I learned of her death today I took a few hours to look back over her life and work. I came to the stunned realization that Nina Simone had been reborn! ....and then we lost her again. It happens like that, though. Musicians flit in and out of this world in the blink of an eye and most of the time are only appreciated after the gravestone has been set in the ground for a good decade or so.

Now Amy's career was nowhere near as prolific as Nina's, however her look, deep vocal tone, flare for the bold and dramatic.... it's all there. Even right down to the abuse of her patrons, unfortunately. If only she could have stayed away from the drugs and booze Amy might have had a fighting chance.

Wiki: Writer Josh Tyrangiel praised Winehouse for her confidence, opining, “What she is is mouthy, funny, sultry, and quite possibly crazy."

Yep. Sounds a lot like my beloved Nina!

Financial success does not make a person happy. But I don't think that financial success would have made either woman happy because their desires so drastically clashed with the reality of what they were being offered and had access to.

I look at Nina's life and it is one royal disaster after the other. Her biography reads like the worst sort of fate that the three bitch Fates could have possible concocted out of sheer spite. Combine undiagnosed(for at least 20 years)schizophrenia with a pair of golden lungs and a con-artist for a record label manager and.... you've got a recipe for disaster! Fortunately for her fans Nina did not succumb to despair, she just strapped on her boots and kicked in doors that much harder.

What makes my heart hurt the most when reading about Nina's history in the music industry is how little she is appreciated for her contribution. Ask most any jazz fan who their top five favorite singers are and they'll give you the same old generic list. Ask them who Nina Simone is and you're lucky if one of them says, "Oh, that crazy lady who died hiding out in France?" erm.. yes. That one. And the same lady who is known as the High Priestess of Soul.

And the worst part is that she HATED being linked to the jazz genre!! She wanted to be known for her talents on the piano, not her voice. I fell in love with her from the very first time I heard a strangely neuter voice singing "Wild is the Wind," a sad ballad in the movie Point of No Return. To hear "Sinnerman" in the Thomas Crown Affair always makes me want to stomp my feet and clap in time. Nina is everywhere now! But she is still not covered anywhere near as much as she deserves. In any jazz or soul compilation album you're pretty much out of luck to see anything at all of Nina. She was burned by the music labels and she burned more than a few bridges with them with her bad behavior. I think that her absence from compilation albums is in direct relation to these labels still being irritated with her past fall(s) from grace.

"Four Women" will make you cry and "Pirate Jenny" will have you grinning and cheering for Jenny as she 'scrubbing these floors while you're gawking. Maybe if you tip me and it makes you feel swell in this crummy old town in this crummy old hotel.. but you couldn't ever guess to who you're talking. No, you couldn't ever guess...' Jenny gets her revenge in the end. I think Nina did, too.

Nevermind that "Pirate Jenny" was written in 1931 for a GERMAN opera! - Nina managed to bring this extravagant tune to life once again and gave it relevance in the 1960-1970 era of intense civil strife. It is to this day one of my top five favorite songs.

If Nina's "Mississippi Goddamn" was boycotted back in 1964 and Amy's "Rehab" (and various other adult themed songs)was met with uneasy acceptance then I think our society has at least matured enough to embrace singers and song writers to show us what we makes us squirm to see in the mirror. We may not like it but we are forced to at least acknowledge it; to confront our sense of unease and analyze it further.

If you read this blog post and do nothing else today, please listen to Nina's live recording of "Mississippi Goddamn." This 'show tune... but a show hasn't been written for it... yet' is still so very relevant today. Nina tells us to Wake Up! Act! ... and it isn't such bad advice.

Rest in peace, Nina and Amy.

Gay Marriage in NY

2011-06-27T08:03:00.005-04:00

I think I woke up in the Twilight Zone this morning. This article greeted me on the front page of MSN. New York state passed gay rights marriage laws.

excerpt:

That shift was precipitated by the emergence of a growing constituency of pro-gay-marriage operatives and donors in the Republican Party, whose direction on social issues is still largely set by its culturally conservative base.

“There is an important change going on among Republicans and conservatives,” said Kenneth B. Mehlman, a former chairman of the Republican National Committee.

Mr. Mehlman, who acknowledged his own homosexuality after his tenure at the national committee had ended, was among a group of Republicans who helped raise money from prominent Republican donors to support the same-sex marriage effort in Albany. Those donors underwrote much of the cost of the same-sex marriage advocates’ advertising and lobbying campaigns.

Among increasing numbers of conservatives and Republicans, he said, there is the conviction “that freedom to marry is consistent with conservative values.”

ermm... last I checked Republican was synonymous with anti-abortion, upper-middle class white people from suburbia who still believe the Vietnam War was justified, who look around saying, "Agent Orange what?" Maybe I'm oversimplifying this a bit but this political shift is too damn shifty to say exactly what is going to happen next.

Some good:

“They’ve shown a way to actually get a bill through a Legislature,” said Richard S. Madaleno Jr., a Democratic state senator in Maryland and sponsor of the marriage bill that was shelved. “And I think we’re going to use some of the same lessons, the same tactics, in Maryland over the next six months.”

Good... and yet- I'm still scratching my head over this. The Democrats had the majority and they couldn't manage to pull it off. The Republicans get put in the Big Boy Chair and all of a sudden it passes?!!! The Republicans voted against it the first time around! Why the change of heart?

Ohhhh! Yeah. The money. Some big money gay Republicans have finally come out of the closet and have used their checkbooks to buy votes.

If the cause wasn't a worthy one I'd be slamming my head on my keyboard right now in frustration with our money-bag-gagged political system.

In any case, congrats NY! This blogger is happy that couples finally have the choice to be together in whatever committed way they see fits their needs and desires.

Reflecting on Death

2011-06-08T23:49:00.010-04:00

It has been two months since my last post. Between my two kids finishing up with final school projects, my side business needing remodeling, my husband driving me insane from being home due to short term disability..... my head has been spinning. I've barely had time to breathe let alone write anything cogent here.

So the kids get done with school, we pack their bags so they can go up and spend the summer with the first wife, hubby is healing and on his way back to work.... and just as I'm getting settled in to get this house in order again I get one phone call after another giving me bad news after bad news. I'm wondering when it's going to stop. Deaths happen in threes, it seems.

Last week my grandfather died at the age of 82. I just went to his funeral today. Military honors and all. It was sweltering hot, everyone was sweating through their clothes and I have to say that we were (all 150 of us) holding up quite well until the Taps was played. Then we discovered there was a severe shortage of tissues. My twelve year old niece was sitting on my mother's lap and when the three shots were fired she screamed and had to be taken to the car. She and Grandpa were close and she was just plain devastated and traumatized by the whole thing.

My nephew(by marriage) was killed in a hit-and-run this past Saturday. That funeral will be this Friday. My poor brother-in-law drank himself silly the day after it happened. Mother and I took food over and sat with him and my sister. He started yammering on and on about killing the guy who killed his son and then sobbing about how wrong he was so say such things. All I can say at this point is that our whole family has gone slightly psycho this past week.

THEN tonight, only hours after getting home from my grandfather's funeral Mom calls me and tells me that a longtime friend of ours died on Monday. He was living with family in Joplin, Missouri when the tornadoes broke out. He had cirrhosis in his liver among other things. He'd been bed bound for a while. Well when the tornadoes hit, he jumped out of bed to try and get a bag together and get to a shelter. He never made it. He fell to the floor in his bedroom and went into multiple system failure, dying two days later in the hospital.

This past week has been filled with nothing but death. I hope these are the last funerals I have to attend for a while.

Any followers of this blog who've read my posts on grief know already that I believe that the 'grief' of a loved one's passing from this material world is ultimately a selfish expression. And a subconsciously jealous one. Sadness they're gone from us(if we allow it to) tends to spiral into a selfish circular logic which is all about what the survivor has 'lost' and not what the recently deceased has gained. An aunt of mine said it best today, "I'll see Daddy soon and I guess I'm just jealous, really." She gave a silly laugh and smile afterward and we shared a knowing look with one another. No one else at the table got it. They looked at her slightly horrified.

I had a wonderful experience just before Mom originally called me to tell me about Grandpa's death. She woke me up from a sound sleep with her call and only a short time earlier I remember dreaming that Grandpa and I were talking. It was almost like a phone conversation but ... closer. I can't tell who initiated the 'call' but he asked me some sensitive questions; things I don't think I could have had the nerve to explain in person. He hugged me and told me that he understood everything and why I made the decisions I did and that he loves me. And, "everything is ok." More questions were asked but- it was easier and more efficient that he just take the information he wanted and then he said good-bye. I felt like he pillaged parts of my soul with that last bit but it wasn't intrusive in a bad way. Just... efficient.

I told Mom about the dream and she said she was so thankful that grandpa and I got a chance to talk. I was so sick during Easter this year that I didn't get to see him during that last holiday get-together. We made our peace with one another. I was still pretty numb that day but you know what? I had my one cry-fest and then I was done with it. I remembered what grandpa said to me and just like that- my sadness was gone. It evaporated like morning dew on grass when the sun comes up hot and bright. I felt his presence for a day or so and then he was gone, at peace at last, lying beside his wife who he'd been missing for more than twenty-six years.

From the Nag Hammadi scrolls in the Manichaean literature section, I'd like to dedicate these verses to all our loved ones:

Come, spirit. Death has fallen, and sickness fled away.
Let there be no desire for the house of affliction,
which is wholly destruction and anguishing death.
You were cast out from your native abode. You suffered in hell.
Come nearer in gladness. Don't turn back
to regard the shape of the bodies. See, they return
through every rebirth, and through every agony
and every choking prison where they burn and sigh.
Come nearer. Don't be fond of perishing beauty
in any of its forms. It withers
and fades like a broken rose that dries in the sun,
its grace destroyed.
Princes and dead souls lie shackled in the tomb
where all is blackness.

My soul is saved.
I am dressed in light.

Life Sucks Like A Freshly Unclogged Toilet

2011-03-29T00:30:00.019-04:00

Couldn't really think of a different title to this post. My apologies. But it is accurately descriptive of my state of being at the moment, unfortunately.

Lemme go ahead and get the whinefest out of the way then I'll try to weave some sort of gnostic wisdom into this somehow.

Gripe #1: My stepsons have been driving me batshit crazy and I'm tired of fighting with my husband about their behavior; thank the All that they are at their birthmother's the next two weeks. She is trying to virtual-school them for one of those weeks so that she can keep them a week after Spring Break and quite honestly I have to say that as a substitute Learning Coach she sucks! Ugh. I'm watching the boys grades go down the drain.

Granted, it's been funny from our perspective(mine and my husband's) watching this all happen in their gradebook online. We can accurately tell when she's trying to be firm with them and when they're tap dancing all over her head like she's an idiot. I even wrote her a five page Guidebook for heaven's sake, describing in great detail all the stunts they'll try to pull and how to deal with it! Does she call and ask for help? Nope. I offered. And it was sincere. If she called I would honestly put the crackdown on those boys if she asked me to; however then of course Daddy would have some serious questions for them when they came home about why they act like such jerks. .. oh wait. That was last week. And that discussion didn't really lead anywhere. I feel like I'm caught in the Groundhog Day movie.

Gripe #2: discovered my cat is bulimic. Our carpet cleaner has been getting quite a workout lately. Only made the logical diagnosis when I spotted him wolfing down his food then sauntering his fat ass over to the Siamese's bowl, shoving her out of the way, gulping down half her portion, and then walked over to the carpet to hurl it all back up. I swear this cat is just about too damn stupid to live. (And no he doesn't have an allergy to the food.)

So now I have to feed the Siamese in our bedroom and el stupido gordo in the kitchen, effectively locking the two apart from one another until the bowls are empty or they lose interest. Then pick the bowls up. Otherwise, the male speeds his butt on over to her bowl and digs in. Then I have to shoo him away and that's just a sad dramatic story all in itself because he's really a very stubborn cat and this argument of ours tends to get a bit loud. He's not very good at taking no for an answer. My foot on his face and shoving him in the opposite direction is usually how we settle the disagreement. Even then sometimes he has to be the masochist and come running back for some more yelling and foot action on my part. He is seriously demented. Sweet and cuddly. But demented.

The few times my mother has watched him for a couple of days she always drops him off early saying, "that cat is a jackass!" and who am I to disagree? I have literally woken up to his bad cat breath in my face, wondering what the hell he was doing in the house, and then found a Post It note on the inside of my front door saying, "Honey, your cat is a jackass." No joke. She really does this.

And he is a pushy little jackass. I'm sure our neighbors think our cats are starved and beaten. Au contraire. They just have their humans wound around their little kitty paws and oh boy do they know it. I open a can of tuna in this house and the Siamese sounds like a baby who hasn't been fed in a week. I swear, I'd wire her jaws shut if I didn't love that little brat so much. Her name isn't Little Big Mouth for nothing. A pedigreed brat. At least she isn't bulimic. She does have that going in her favor. And she is the absolute best movie critic. The more blood and gore she sees in a movie the harder she switches her tail across my face and chatters at the TV. She loves scary movies.

I'm just really sick of cleaning up orange colored puke stains in the carpet. Why do they have to put so much food dye in animal kibble anyway? Then again, why do we have white carpets in this apartment??

Gripe #3: My fish died yesterday. I really miss him. Beta. Off white with red fins. He was gorgeous. I think he had an albino somewhere in his lineage because at first glance you'd swear he was a female. I bought him because I thought he was a cool looking little cross dresser and anyone else would just plain make fun of him. I wouldn't. I like the misfits and the outcasts. He was a real sweety.

The boys are coming back next Thursday and I honestly don't know how to reconcile myself with that fact. I feel like locking myself in my own closet and reading a book all day just to get away from their attitudes. And anyone who wants to comment, please be aware of this first: yes, the kids know me. I've been in their lives for more than a few years now. No, they don't need 'divorce therapy,' they're just regular kids who will take ten miles if you give them an inch. With ADHD. And lungs. And the ability to turn my hair gray with their reckless shenanigans. Hubby says that if they both keeps this crap up he's going to have to switch to the night shift. (I'm not quite convinced that he doesn't fear I have homicidal tendencies.) Nah. Xanax + iPod. Problem solved. But that doesn't mean my roots don't need constant touch ups from the stress. I'm giving Clairol a lot of my money lately.

If it was legal I'd put them both in a box, turn on a camera, sell tickets to the fight, and let them duke it out like a pair of pissed off chinchillas. I think that sometimes that's just what siblings need- to kick the crap out of eachother and be done with it. That'd be stress relieving for all of us, don't you think? The masses are entertained, money flows in the bank, and the kids end up so tired that they actually don't have the energy to run their mouths and piss anyone off.

About that gnostic wisdom bit I mentioned in the beginning? I just ain't feeling it. The closest I've come to any kind of rational thought the past few days is today when I finished reading Anne Rice's "Vittorio, The Vampire" book. (First edition, ya'll! My first edition collection of Anne Rice's books are my only materialistic vice.)

Page nine of the book contained such a piece of eloquent drama I feel compelled to recount it for you here. Simply magnificent!!

Vittorio is talking about how he may be a blood sucking revenant of a monster but that makes him no less a human being with human feelings with an equally important life story to tell. Then he began reciting a passage from Sheridan Le Fanu's story called "the Familiar."

"Whatever may be my uncertainty as to the authenticity of what we are taught to call revelation, of one fact I am deeply and horribly convinced, that there does exist beyond this a spiritual world-- a system whose workings are generally in mercy hidden from us-- a system which may be, and which is sometimes, partially and terribly revealed. I am sure-- I know... that there is a god-- a dreadful God-- and that retribution follows guilt, in ways most mysterious and stupendous-- by agencies the most inexplicable and terrific; -- that there is a spiritual system-- great God, how I have been convinced!- a system malignant, and inexplicable, and omnipotent, under whose persecutions I am, and have been, suffering the torments of the damned!

Vittorio then begins speaking to his Readers again saying,

"What do you think of that?

I am myself rather mortally struck by it. I don't think I am prepared to speak of our God as "dreadful" or our system as "malignant," but there seems to be an eerie inescapable ring of truth to these words, written in fiction but obviously with much emotion.

It matters to me because I suffer under a terrible curse, quite unique to me, I think, as a vampire. That is, the others don't share it. But I think we all-- human, vampire, all of us who are sentient and can weep-- we all suffer under a curse, the curse that we know more than we can endure, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, we can do about the force and the lure of this knowledge."

This curse Vittorio bears is indeed unique among vampires: he can see the divine glow of the human Spark in every person on the planet. Vampire, human, doesn't matter. Anyone with a human soul has this gold aura to his eyes.

So as he's killing to feed he has to acknowledge that his actions are slowly snuffing out a spark from the Divine. He literally sees the light dim and then die altogether. That is the unique suffering he must bear. And why? Because he broke a deal with three angels.

The angels agreed to help him physically enter the vampire coven's(this is when he was human still) castle if he himself will do the actual slaying in order to avenge his slaughtered village. The angels cannot kill without divine command so Vittorio has to do the actual killing. The angels fulfill their part of the bargain but Vittorio grows a conscience and backs out when it comes to the last coven member, Ursula, with whom he is unfortunately infatuated.

He argues with the angels saying that if Ursula repents of all her past sins then he will kill her-- IF they swear that her soul will go to Heaven. But the angels cannot say whether or not her soul will go to heaven and because they see his conflict they back away and let Vittorio do what he wants. In the end, Ursula tricks Vittorio into becoming like her and he's so pissed about it that they go on a killing spree but that's not really the point.

The real kick in the pants is that two of the angels Vittorio first sees are the very guardian angels of a painter he adores. And because he happens to glimpse behind the veil of reality and spy on the guardian angel's activities he changes(or does he??) the painter's future. When your guardian angels aren't around and are helping other people what kind of mischief can a person get into?!!

Fra Filippo Lippi ends up kidnapping a nun from a convent, her sister, and then setting up a house with all three of them! His vice was women and without his guardian angels to steer him clear of temptations he apparently said to hell with it and royally screwed the pooch. The town wanted to lynch him.

A whispering came to Vittorio's ear, "One might wonder where were his guardian angels on the day that Fra Filippo did such a mad thing?"

Vittorio whirls around and sees no one.

Finally, after much running about he is allowed to see all the angels he brokered a deal with. As a vampire he could not understand why he could still see them. They explained his newly(and uniquely) damned status: he would forevermore see angels when he viewed Fra Lippi's paintings and he would always see the bright divine spark of God within humans to remind him of his bad decision to linger on earth longer than a human should have a right.

Technically, he was tricked, right? But he wouldn't kill Ursula unless she was repentant and she wasn't so..... he's just plain out of luck.

A few points of interest I found particularly intriguing was that Vittorio mentions it's not just Fra Lippi's paintings which take on a lifelike quality when he views them; his son, Filipino's paintings of angels are quickened in his presence as well.

The two angels who first attract Vittorio's attention are portrayed in Fra Lippi's "Annunciation" series of paintings. I managed to find one of the angels. He talks about the one with 'peacock feathers in his wings.' I have not been so lucky to see the second angel.

Vittorio's parting words to his Readers :

"Gold. that is what I see when I look at you.

That is what I see when I look at any man, woman, and child.

I see the flaming celestial gold that Mastema revealed to me. I see it surrounding you, and holding you, encasing you and dancing with you, though you yourself may not behold it, or even care.

From this tower tonight in Tuscany, I look out over the land, and far away, deep in the valleys, I see the gold of human beings, I see the glowing vitality of beating souls."

..... "I am not saying I am a great painter. I am not such a fool. But I say that out of my pain, out of my folly, out of my passion there comes a vision-- a vision which I carry with me eternally and which I offer to you.

It is a vision of every human being, bursting with fire and mystery, a vision I cannot deny, nor blot out, nor ever turn away from, nor ever belittle nor ever escape.

Others write of doubt and darkness.

Others write of meaninglessness and quiet.

I write of indefinable and celestial gold that will forever burn bright.

I write of blood thirst that is never satisfied. I write of knowledge and its price.

Behold, I tell you, the light is there in you. I see it. I see it in each and every one of us, and will always. I see it when I hunger, when I struggle, when I slaughter. I see it sputter and die in my arms when I drink.

Can you imagine what it would be like for me to kill you?

Pray it never takes a slaughter or a rape for you to see this light in those around you. God forbid that it should demand such a price. Let me pay the price for you instead."

Vittorio may be a fictional vampiric martyr but I think there is a lesson to be learned in this poetic bit of prose: Anne Rice is a closet gnostic. And she, like all of us, is perpetually 'under construction.'

Chemtrails- personal home vids!!

2011-02-07T16:10:00.012-05:00

This footage was filmed in Lakeland, Florida at 4:45 pm on 12/29/10. I opened my front door and looked up into the sky. There they were, plain as day.

This set of videos are shown in chronological order. I had to shoot in several segments(eight, actually) because I was walking around down the street trying to find the best angles with the sun where it was at that time of day.

I wanted to splice together all the vids but haven't had such great luck in the tech department with it. Just watch the vids from top to bottom and you'll see it as it's meant to be seen.

There are a total of eight vids but I'm only listing the more vivid ones here. Check out GU's YouTube channel to see the rest. www.youtube.com/user/GnosticUnrest

These were shot right outside my front door.

These next two videos were filmed an hour later, driving into town on Highway 98North at 5:45pm.

When you hear me say, "remember Key West?" in the vid right at the end, I am referring to the same type of aerial spraying done around the time my father was stationed at the Naval base there. The huskier voiced woman you hear me talking to is my mother. As you heard, even she could immediately tell there was something unnatural about them. She pointed out the difference between contrails, "mare's tails," and this mystery soup stuff up there in a grid-like pattern.

The reference to Key West goes thus: in the 1980's the story leaked out that the military planes were doing what they called "population mobility experiments" in relation to sickness and evacuation or trends in movement. When you're attempting to study what people will do in a bad situation- do it on an island. People who have limited escape routes will automatically panic the worst. Pandemic studies, they're called. My mother saw and experienced them first hand. According to her, they never did 'fess up to what was in the stuff that was sprayed but only stated that it was 'viral' in nature.

In this next vid you can see the sheer size of these chemical tracks in the sky when driving in a moving vehicle and when compared to buildings. Very sharp footage. There are literally NO OTHER CLOUDS in the sky except for these chemtrails!!

I have noticed an interesting trend about chemtrails just in my own local experience-- right around two days after chemtrails appear, it rains. Hard. Like, a gushing downpour of kitties and puppies from the sky. Anyone else notice this or have experience with it? Very odd this time of year, even for Florida.

Democracy vs. Egyptian Pharaoh

2011-02-04T00:20:00.022-05:00

Like a lot of you, I have been watching the news concerning affairs in Egypt the past few weeks. Found some enlightening pictures online, too!

Today in an article: Asked about U.S. President Barack Obama's counsel for him to leave office swiftly, Mubarak said he told him, "You don't understand the Egyptian culture and what would happen if I step down now."

Yeah, buddy. I know what you mean. All those youngsters today below the age of THIRTY! What the hell do they know about what's good for them? They see the world going to shit all around them and lo and behold- on YouTube and Facebook there are concepts totally unheard of in their hometowns. Of course they're jealous.

They see us enjoying the ability to kiss whomever we want without sharia law prompting acid being thrown in your face. Or Googling(I hate the fact that this word is now a verb) information on anything from illegal whaling practices to Justin Bieber. (ACK. I can't believe I just wrote that.)(The last part. 'Cause he's just kinda weird looking with the whole 'I just got swirlied' hairdo.)

In any case, Egyptians are pissed. Jealous mad pissed and they have a right to be. Thirty years is too long to have one guy looking down his hairy nose at you. The people have spoken: with Molotov cocktails no less. And spray paint. And when the spray paint and alcohol ran out they resorted to throwing sticks and stones. They haven't let up yet and to them I tip my hat. They deserve the right to choose their representatives.

These pics were priceless, although the political implications in a few of them did leave me asking quite a few questions and none of them good.

Very cute. I can totally see the resemblance!

As opposed to Argentina or some other South American country hide-away? hmm....

Catch that sign in the far right? It's about our beloved White House couple. Here's the sign blown up a bit bigger:

"Game over Hillary. Obama stop supporting Tyranny." Or is that Tyrants? Kinda fuzzy. But the effect is the same.

It's not the message on the signs that have me worried it's the number of pictures I saw with Muslim women looking awfully pissed off in their hijab. I think we should be very concerned with the power vacuum when Pharaoh leaves office.

I'm sensing that Egypt is going to become the new South Vietnam.

Ground Zero Mosque

2010-12-31T14:48:00.005-05:00

I regularly receive updates from the Judicial Watch legal organization. I've copied/pasted below the email notification I received just today. The links in my email worked perfectly. Why Blogger isn't accepting them is a mystery at this current time. I've edited and edited the html and it's just not working. Here is a direct link to the Judicial Watch update directly from their site. The links work there. I've tested them.

Judicial Watch doesn't just 'watch.' They actually file lawsuits against various branches of the US Government to obtain information about hidden actions in order to get the truth out. The fact that our representatives state that asking questions is "un-American" scares the hell out of me.

From the Desk of Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton:

Mayor Bloomberg’s Office Spearheaded Drive for

Ground Zero Mosque, New Docs Show

On July 2010, Mayor Bloomberg outrageously told reporters it was “un-American” to investigate the individuals behind the Ground Zero Mosque. Now we know why he wanted no one to look into the controversy.

Judicial Watch just obtained a new batch of documents from New York City Mayor Bloomberg’s office that show his office was instrumental in helping radical anti-American Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, his wife Daisy Khan and their partner Sharif el-Gamal obtain approval for a 13-story massive mosque and “community center” to be built in the shadow of Ground Zero, the site of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

These documents, which we obtained through open records requests and a related lawsuit, earned widespread press coverage in New York and around the country. (Here’s the New York Observer’s take to give just one example.) They included email correspondence between top officials inside the Mayor’s office and supporters of the Ground Zero Mosque, a project spearheaded by the Rauf-led Cordoba Initiative. The documents were made available to us on December 23. This unseemly Christmas dump is a well-known ploy by politicians to use the holidays to release bad news in the hopes that it will go unnoticed. (It didn’t work this time.)

Here are some of the documents’ key highlights:

A May 10, 2010, email from Daisy Khan, listed as Executive Director of the American Society for Muslim Advancement, to Fatima Shama, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs: “Is there a good time to chat tomorrow. We need some guidance on how to tackle the opposition.”
A letter supporting the Ground Zero Mosque drafted by Nazi Parvizi, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit, to Julie Menin, Chairman of Manhattan’s Community Board 1, which had considered a resolution supporting the mosque. Parvizi crafted the letter for Daisy Khan’s signature, asking the board to temporarily withdraw the mosque resolution due to public outrage over the project. Parvizi described the purpose of the letter in a May 15, 2010, email: “What the letter will do, I hope, is get the media’s attention off everyone’s backs and give you guys time to regroup on your strategy as discussed…”
A legal review of the Menin letter sent to the Mayor’s office by Rauf on May 15, 2010. The letter contemplates the impact that withdrawing the Community Board 1 resolution could have on the effort to de-designate the mosque site as a historical landmark at a June 22, 2010, Landmark Commission meeting, thus allowing the project to move forward:
The Borough President (and Councilmember Chin) have a firm policy at speaking up at public agencies only after the community board has taken a position on an item. So withdrawing the resolution may affect their thinking about how helpful they can be on June 22. That in itself may not be fatal to getting [the site] de-designated but I do know that [Landmark Commission] Chairman Tierney was looking forward to having the "political cover" their support would bring him.

The Landmark Commission ultimately decided to de-designate the property.
A May 7, 2010, congratulations email from Shama to Rauf, Khan and el-Gamal after the Community Board 1 finance subcommittee expressed support for the Ground Zero Mosque project: “Again-congratulations!!! This is very exciting for all of you and the community at large! Daisy, as always – you were AMAZING last night – thank you!”
A May 7, 2010, email from Khan to Rauf, el-Gamal and Shama after the finance subcommittee vote: “Just spoke with Commissioner Nazli Parvizi. She will call Julie Mennon [sic] to thank them for passing the resolution and ask how she can assist.”
A January 2010 email exchange documenting Shama’s successful attempt to expedite a temporary public assembly permit so supporters of the Ground Zero Mosque could conduct prayers at the site.
A series of email exchanges regarding a September 18, 2009, meeting between Shama, Rauf, el-Gamal, Khan and others from the Ground Zero Mosque project. A September 22, 2009, follow-up email summarized the meeting: “It was wonderful to be with everyone…on Friday night…Fatima mentioned that there are a number of concrete next steps that need to be undertaken re: the Cordoba House. In terms of a point person and centralized contact, please advise Fatima as to whom she should be in direct contact with on these and all other Cordoba House matters moving forward.”
An April 22, 2010, email from Khan to Shama asking Shama to sign a letter of support for the Ground Zero Mosque project. “We have been honored to have developed a relationship with you over the last years…we consider you amongst our closest allies and friends.” The email included a draft letter for Shama to sign.

On August 9, 2010, Judicial Watch filed Freedom of Information Law (FOIL) requests with the Mayor’s office, seeking contacts between city officials and Rauf and controversial Muslim organizations. (Click here to review my post from a few weeks ago that highlighted some of the sordid details about these so-called “mainstream” Muslim organizations.)

After we received no response from Mayor Bloomberg’s office to our request and a subsequent administrative appeal, we filed a lawsuit in the New York State Supreme Court on November 4, 2010 to compel the Mayor’s office to comply with the open records requests. Our petition apparently got their attention.

Now there is no doubt. Mayor Bloomberg’s office was working hand-in-glove with the Muslim activists driving the unpopular Ground Zero mosque project. Now we know what the Mayor was trying to hide and why his office did not bother to comply with the Freedom of Information Law. But it shouldn’t have taken a lawsuit to get the details. New Yorkers want honesty and transparency from their Mayor, not obfuscation. They deserve to know the truth about this mosque.

And just to give you a sense of the close “allies and friends” of Mayor Bloomberg’s staff…

Feisal Abdul Rauf is well known for making a number of radical and controversial statements regarding Islamic extremism, particularly the terrorist attacks of 9/11. For example, during a 60 Minutes interview about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Rauf said: “I wouldn’t say that the United States deserved what happened. But the United States’ policies were an accessory to the crime that happened…we have been an accessory to a lot of innocent lives dying in the world. In fact, in the most direct sense, Osama bin Laden is made in the USA.”

Now Rauf wants to build a Muslim complex adjacent to the spot where Muslim radicals murdered 3,000 innocents. And thanks to Mayor Bloomberg and his staff, it looks like he may get his wish.

New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-29T14:32:00.004-05:00

I decided that I'm going to have to suck it up and actually make some resolutions I'll stick to this year. "Only things which serve a clear purpose which I cannot talk myself out of." ... 'cause, you know, I think we're all pretty darn good at talking ourselves out of, well, anything. So my focus will be to become more strict with how I rationalize actions. Or inaction. That's just as dangerous.

My stepsons have been gone for around two weeks now for Winter Break at their birthmother's and lemme tell ya, I have lived in my pj's and fluffy house robe the majority of the time. It's so nice not to feel the push to get out of bed, organize someone's day for them, and then run around behind them making sure they actually fulfill their end of the bargain.

I will organize, expand upon, and POST the fifty million drafted blog posts which are clogging up this account. You think I'm kidding about the number?! I'm not. I write and write and write.... and never click Post. Can't figure this out. But I need to. I think that January will be a busy month, indeed, in this regard.
I have not been taking the time to really take care of my own intellectual/education needs and desires. I must make the time to read more and write more about what I read.
The boys have been in virtual school this year and I just cannot take the stress any longer. It started out being an experimental type thing and has ended up swallowing all of my brain cells. Emotionally, I am dead tired. I'm tired of the endless fighting over who's talking when they shouldn't be, who's slacking off and for how long, and the incessant aggravation of changing school curriculum and teachers. The virtual school just can't seem to keep the same teachers for these kids. What the deal is, I haven't a clue. But I'm just plain tired of it. So my third resolution is: Let the kids fall on their faces if that is their wish. No more begging. No more pleading. I am practicing laissez-faire from here on in concerning their virtual school work unless it is a Science project or other Portfolio. They're on their own. It's not that I don't care. Because I do. But I'm not holding their freaking hand anymore. It's ridiculous. The more I spoon-feed them the more miserable they make me and that's not exactly fair. They want my attention then they can get it-- AFTER school is done for the day. They spend more time talking than doing. They don't disrespect their teachers at "brick and mortar" this way. And yet they feel like it's perfectly acceptable to do this to me. And come to find out, the eldest son's teacher used to put him out in the hall for talking too much and disturbing others around him.(He talks to himself. Cannot read or solve a problem quietly to save his life.) I only find this out when last year's schooling is done and gone. Funny. So I started doing the same thing, making him go out into the hallway for 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 15. Works like a charm. If he's away from his books then he realizes that he's losing free time because he is out in the hall. And the younger son? Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. He just plain pushes my buttons to push my buttons. He wants attention- fine. But with the way he acts he ends up getting negative attention. I don't understand his logic. And until he breaks his brain out of that cycle there's not a damn thing I can do with him.
Work on my relationship with my husband. Concentrate less on the kids and more on the husband. The logic then goes that by transferring more of my attention to my husband, he will then have to focus more on the kids, thus relieving me of more stress than I can handle. I think that works out pretty well.

Hubby wont put them back in "brick and mortar" school and so thinks that I should sit at the house and suffer. Nope. I've made up my mind. I'm not suffering anymore. I am getting caught up on my reading, article posting, and cleaning those drawers and closets which have been giving me the hairy eyeball for a few weeks now. The kids can do whatever they want; procrastinate until the cows come home! Even if that means they're up until nine o'clock at night still doing their schoolwork. Not my problem. Them doing schoolwork that late does not hinder my ability to cook dinner or anything else so.... oh well. Sucks to be them.

The theme to my year's resolutions seem to be getting away from micromanaging other people's lives so that I can, in fact, have one of my own.

Book Review

2010-12-22T17:33:00.011-05:00

The Nature of the Psyche: Its Human Expression
A Seth Book by: Jane Roberts

This is such a meaty book it's taken me over three weeks to finish. I kept having to put it away and take a break from it because it is so condensed. I'll be talking about it in depth further in small doses here and there as the subject matter pertains to opinions or experiences I have.

The astral personality, "Seth" has written quite a few books over the past thirty-something years. I read "Seth Speaks" around ten years ago and was nudged by Pleroma to find the book again very recently. Upon researching the first book I was flabbergasted to discover just how many more books Jane Roberts has published since.

Yes, I know I am quoting nearly entire pages at a time. Unfortunately, Seth is very ... choosy.. with his wording and specific. Such a large amount of information is crammed into paragraphs that this is the only way for you, the reader, to understand what I'm commenting on.

Page 41

"The [human] species has built into it all the knowledge, information, and "data" that it can possibly need under any and all conditions. This heritage must be triggered psychically, however, as a physical mechanism such as a muscle is triggered through desire or intent.

This does not mean that you learn what in larger terms you already know; as for example, if you learned a skill. Without the triggered desire, the skill would not be developed; but even when you do learn a skill, you use it in your own unique way. Still, the knowledge of mathematics and the arts is as much within you as your genes are within you. You usually believe that all such information must come from outside of your self, however. Certainly, mathematical formulas are not imprinted in the brain, yet they are inherent in the structure of the brain and implied within its existence. Your own focus determines the information that is available to you."

page 42

"This does not mean that any person, spontaneously, with no instruction, can suddenly become a great artist or writer or scientist. It does mean, however, that the species possesses within itself those inclinations which will flower. It means also that you are limiting the range of your knowledge by not taking advantage of such methods. It does not mean that in your terms all knowledge already exists, either, for knowledge automatically becomes individualized as you receive it, and hence, new.

Your desire automatically attracts the kind of information you require, though you may or may not be aware of it.

If you are gifted, and want to be a musician, for example, then you may literally learn while you are asleep, tuning in to the world view of other musicians, both alive and dead in your terms. When you are awake, you will receive inner hints, nudges or inspirations. You may still need to practice, but your practice will be largely in joy, and will not take as long as it might take others. The reception of such information facilitates skill, and operates basically outside of time's sequences.

......"It seems almost heresy to suppose that such knowledge is available, for then what use is education? Yet education should serve to introduce a student to as many fields of endeavor as possible, so that he or she might recognize those that serve as natural triggers, opening skills or furthering development. The student will, then, pick and choose."

**************************

Seth then goes on to briefly discuss categories of knowledge and traditions which allowed individuals to set aside accepted modes of perception to delve into other realms of knowledge. The problem then becomes language. This 'innate' genetic knowledge needs a way to be expressed.

I think that this is the real problem gnostics face and why our past expressions(Nag Hammadi codices, for example) have sided more with romantic verse than normal conversational language. Our 'mind perspective' has become so vastly expanded that our native tongue stumbles. We fumble around, looking for a more perfect word to describe 'immense' and 'forever,' meanwhile information is pouring into, not only our minds, but our hearts. Unspeakable and ineffable are two words which are repeated throughout gnostic texts and for very good reason.

Change is profound. How we deal with this is what makes our journey so unique. Do we stay in rigid dogmatic modes of thought and expression and only rely on those visualizations to express ourselves? Or do we throw caution to the wind and let our mind wander freely?

Seth says, "This heritage must be triggered psychically," and if I had read this book more than two years ago I'd have really been stumped as to what this means. Triggered as in 'decided upon' or triggered as in 'tripped over'? As a lay gnostic this "triggering" mechanism he speaks of means something quite simple and yet profound at the same time to me: connection.

This connection with Pleroma/The All/Source, etc, is like a torrential flood of love and information when activated. How or when does it occur? Awake or asleep, it can occur. We make life altering decisions in our sleep quite often but don't remember it.

We hold ourselves back because we're so utterly terrified of being alone. That is why the contrasting emotions from Pleroma feel so delusional at times. So when that conscious choice is made to (re)connect it seems as though we're bit out of our heads at first. Hence, the honeymoon period. Euphoria. Absolute euphoria. Like being wrapped in the softest, warmest blanket and cuddled.

Small nudges here and there. Turning left instead of right. Not speaking when we normally would have before. Sensing the larger cause and that patience is not just a virtue of some Romantic era but the natural way to function appropriately for your own personal growth. Feeling that, even though the world's gone mad, "everything will be alright" actually makes sense although we don't know why.

Something to ponder: maybe this is why Socrates had more fun listening than talking.

Cringe-Worthy News

2010-12-21T16:20:00.008-05:00

I cannot, absolutely cannot, believe I am writing this blog post. I cannot believe that the legal system in my country resorts to the kind of twisted entrapment just to get a pervert off the streets.

Looking up the actual legal definition for "entrapment" leads me to believe that it's not so much a standard case of entrapment, but still a legal nightmare nonetheless. I happen to live close to where this pedophile will(eventually) be jailed and I cannot believe I am defending any part of his case but that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. My comments are below the short article, attention given to red text.

Pedophile's Guide author locked up in Polk County Jail

Bartow, Channel 13 News. Article last updated: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 1:15 PM

Polk County Sheriff's Office detectives are in Colorado making an arrest for violation of obscenity laws.

According to Polk Sheriff Grady Judd, the sheriff's office, along with authorities in Pueblo, Colo., have arrested Phillip R. Greaves II, the author of the book "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code of Conduct."

Greaves was arrested on charges of distribution of obscene material depicting minors engaged in harmful conduct, which is a third-degree felony.

Judd said Internet Crimes Division detectives who were investigating the case researched the book and inquired about receiving a copy. Judd detectives paid $50 and Greaves sent the book to an address in Lakeland, which violated state obscenity laws and led to the arrest. Judd said Greaves even signed the book he sent.

Investigators said the book contained graphic stories describing sex acts involving adults and minors.

Officials requested a warrant and made an arrest Monday. Greaves has no other connection to Florida.

Judd said Greaves could be extradited to Polk County as soon as today. Even if Greaves were to fight extradition, Judd said he likely would be brought to Polk County within 30-60 days.

Amazon pulled the book off its website earlier this year after an online boycott against the book led by a Lakeland woman.

"He wrote this book specifically to teach people how to molest and rape children,'' Judd said. "You cannot engage in or depict children in a harmful light.

"There may be nothing the other 49 states can do but there is something Florida can do. We can prosecute (Phillip Greaves) for this manifesto.''

************************************

So, Colorado detectives had the author send the paid-for book to an address in Florida, thereby breaking the law. Because Florida is the only one of fifty freaking states which has obscenity laws?!!

I'm not condoning pedophilia. I am in no way supporting this bastard's sick book. But I am opposed to someone in law enforcement requesting an author ship out their book to a place in order to take advantage of the law there. What, was the book for a "friend" in Florida? A Christmas gift, perhaps?

Ugh. It just sickens me. It sickens me on so many levels that it's all just a big mushy mess in my head. There's right and there's wrong. Their are shades of gray. Then there are those tricky little legal scenarios which make mutter to yourself, "Wow, wonder how that's going to turn out?"

It's like with the whole Wikileaks deal going on now. The guy leaks tons of classified military documents on wars and actions taken by governments and you've got half the people commenting on how heinous a thing it is for Assange to do what he does and the other half screaming about what a saint he is. Then when new leaked reports about certain American pharmaceutical company's criminal testing activities are brought forward and discussed, all of a sudden everyone swings over to Assange's side in vilifying the US government and the FDA. Oh come on now. What happened to all that patriotism?

When it involves killing people in wars it's ok with half of the population because, let's face it, there are a lot of veterans and relatives of veterans who have strong feelings. But when it comes to our household medicine cabinet then that hits a little too close to home for comfort.

Conclusion: "patriotism" is just a PR tactic to divide and control populations. I think the only loyalties we should have is to one another as part of the human race. And in order to be true "patriots" for ourselves and others that means doing the difficult thing, even if it means giving up our own comforts. Unselfish behavior is so rarely seen today that we have difficulty quantifying it let alone understanding it when it is a pure thing.

Christmas

2010-12-07T01:09:00.005-05:00

Hmm.. Haven't thought about this a lot actually, even with the Holiday itself only a few weeks away. Hubby and I don't have any real religious traditions. His ex-wife has the tree and all that paraphernalia.

I personally loathe the holidays because of the commercialism behind it. When more than three of your friends/family resort to buying gift cards for everyone else, you know the religious spirit behind it is utterly and completely dead. I just can't get with it anymore. As a kid I loved it. But now? I am thirty years old and I DON'T EVEN OWN A CHRISTMAS TREE!! No joke. Not even a little bitty one.

I do not own one decoration which should go on a tree. I do not even own a wreath. As I write this I feel like I should be sad about it but somehow I just can't. I think I've become more ascetic as the years pass. I could fit every single one of my possessions in two large trunks. (Besides the pots and pans, of course.)

But the two stepsons are big into the holidays so I let them draw and create some decorations today. Some of it was pretty darn neat! I created some mazes for them and after they solved them, they decided to take colored pencils and crayons to them, shading them in like mandalas and big shiny Christmas tree balls. They're taped on a wall near a table which serves as the place where wrapped presents reside until The Big Day. If the kids would like to continue decorating then so be it. Let them express their childhood emotions about the holiday. I even dug up a few jars of glitter paint for them to get happy with.

I don't know. I just feel more alive during the summer, I guess. Winter makes me want to curl up with a good book and have my two kitties snuggled beside me.

Zeitgeist?

2010-12-03T11:56:00.005-05:00

I heard this word at the end of a rather... bloody... dream I had last evening.

The dream images were so disturbing I really don't feel like I can write about it. I want to scrub my brain with bleach.

Anyone have any ideas on the relevance of this particular word right now in the news?

Definition:

–noun, German .

the spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time.

Somebody finally sued TSA for unlawful groping!

2010-11-25T14:48:00.006-05:00

In the "search and seizure" aspect of this case..... what did the TSA seize, exactly? Was it his testicles? Does he want them back?

I joke about this but on a serious note: good for him! And good for us. Because somebody needs to tell Uncle Sam that it's not ok to touch our no-no's, let alone look at them through a "low level" radiation view finder toy.

Arkansas Man Sues Over Enhanced TSA Screenings

Tuesday, November 23 2010

(Little Rock, AR) -- Airports across the country are bracing for possible protests at security checkpoints Wednesday.

It's all surrounding the body-imaging machines that are now being used. And right now a Little Rock man is going to court over it, saying the technology violates passenger constitutional rights.

As travelers come in and out of Little Rock National Airport, they won't come across a body-imaging machine.

There are over 450 airports in the U.S., only 69 have the approximately 400 body-imaging scanners. Little Rock National Airport isn't one of them.

Robert Dean says it doesn't matter. After going through one in Chicago a few weeks ago, he's asking the federal court in Little Rock to step in.

"Filing for an injunction will stop these types of invasive measures until we can get a ruling on the constitutionality of this," Dean says.

He's talking about the enhanced pat downs too. According to the TSA, less than 3% of travelers actually undergo the more invasive security check.

But airports are bracing for passengers to opt out of the body-imaging scanners Wednesday, leading to enhanced pat downs. Dean says he doesn't like the new security measures but hopes protests do not occur.

"Peaceful demonstrations and non-violent protest have their purpose but I'm not sure this is the time and place to do this when we have legal means in which to address this through a court system," Dean says.

Dean's lawsuit claims the new security measures violate his civil rights and his 4th amendment right protecting against unlawful search and seizure. He added the current metal detectors system is sufficient because the new enhanced measures wouldn't have stopped the attempted underwear bomber last Christmas Day because the flight originated overseas.

So this guy walks into heaven and says...

2010-11-25T14:35:00.013-05:00

"I'll show him! I'll show him just how much I learned and how much I can do!" Man does wild karate movies and flips around wielding an old fashioned rotary phone by the cord.

"Interesting choice of weapon," said the woman who was attempting to usher the crazed man into heaven through a door. He didn't seem to see the door but kept running around her wild-eyed and sweaty faced.

"He'll be so proud of me!" the man screamed.

"You know, he-"

Crash. The rotary phone cord he was so precariously slinging around through the air wrapped a dozen times around his waist and the hard, heavy phone box smacked him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"-already knows," the woman finished. "And he is already proud of you," she mumbled, sitting down beside him on the ground.

*********************************

There ya have it. That's the comic-strip caper Pleroma showed me this morning and I woke up snorting laughing. I think he was trying to show me just how ridiculous I was being, getting so stressed out with all this school stuff.

It was like a bad Jackie Chan outtake. A much needed comic relief, too. I'm feeling a bit less tense now. Although I have to admit, this has been the more sane dream I've had the past few days.

Three nights ago I dreamed snapshots of traveling with a man and a woman in a car. They were brother and sister. We were speeding over to my Mom's house to get a copy of her Will. Why, I haven't the foggiest clue. Dream never explained. Anyway, we got back in the car and suddenly we're at the intersection light just outside of my mother's community. Little snapshots here and there of the drive along to... the Post Office?!

I unlocked a mail box and just as the door swung out the scene changed and suddenly we were all standing in a department store, and more specifically the toy area. The other woman in the dream grabbed a baby doll(baby doll, not a Barbie) and wrapped her arms around it saying, "I think we should put diamonds in her head because she's just so gosh darn cute!"

wtf? I know, right? That's what I was saying out loud when I woke up from that bizarre little Masterpiece Theater.

Still don't have an explanation for it. And judging from the theme I don't don't think I want to find out any time soon.

A diamond is a pretty standard descriptive used to indicate the pineal gland in the brain when referring to gnosticism, which is thought to be the 'home base' of the telephone line to the All. The pine cone and the Third Eye are other representations.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow.... Weary

2010-11-24T14:58:00.024-05:00

My two stepsons are at their birthmother's house all this week for Thanksgiving Break so I am finally feeling the rusty pressure-release valve turning inside my brain. As I sit here and write this I think, "this has been the worst month and a half in my life." Not true, of course. There have been far darker Pits I've trudged through in my past that I'll never talk about. But right now it seems like the worst only because I'm neck deep in it. When I woke up from my nap this afternoon I felt like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Now I finally have the courage to set fingertips to keyboard once again. I've been neglecting the blog for a reason.

Two day ago I wrote this in a journal and have copied it here verbatim:

The kids are gone for a week! YAY!! This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Good for me and bad for my husband because he wont leave me alone. "Let's run around the house naked all week!" he says. Granted, we did this a lot during Summer Break. It was fun. I'm all for nudism in the home. Very freeing.

But right now my heart's just not in it. So he's pissy because I need time alone. Preferably in the closet with my pillow and blanky. *sigh* Which makes me angry at myself because I totally understand his perspective. So how does the practical gnostic say to her somewhat materialistic non-gnostic husband, "Honey, I'm hearing voices in my head and I'm sorry but I really need you to go away for a while?"

The past month and a half I've been away from the blog(not posting anything personal, just copy/pasting interesting world news) it's basically been because of child education issues. Which has led to a level of frustration so extreme I've closed myself off from Pleroma. What can I say? Aggravation makes one do counterproductive and idiotic things. That's the only defense I have and the backlash has been making me crazy.

Week One: phft. I can handle all this. What's the big deal. I can take care of this on my own.
Week Two: Migraine. And lots of muscle relaxers + Xanax to keep my cool.
Week Three: Screaming at the kids to get their heads out of their butts and to quit taking advantage of my good nature and willingness to help. Not successful.
Week Four: Insomnia.
Week Five: Lost my temper finally and told hubby I want the kids back in brick-and-mortar school. Pronto. As in... yesterday!

A few days ago I finally sat back and realized what I was doing. What I had done to my relationship with Pleroma.

Later that night in my sleep I started hearing lyrics to an Averil Lavigne song. "Who knows what could happen, do what you do just keep on laughing. One thing's true- there's always a brand new day."

The one section Pleroma seems to be bashing against my skull like an anvil is the high pitched, breathy falsetto line of: "Find yourself- who are you?!" He pauses at this particular line and slams his cosmological finger on the repeat button to make sure I hear it at least twenty times before moving onto the same verse, same as the first! I'm Henry the Eighth I am. Henry the Eight I am I am... kidding. But no, really. The repetition of those few lines is pushing me over the edge. I used to like the song. Now I'm ready to crush the damn CD into little itty bitty pieces with my bare hands because it makes me so mad.

This morning in my sleep he moved onto a heartfelt rendition of Chris Isaak's, "Wrong To Love You." (*groan* sappy much?) The vibe I got from him wasn't condemnation or irritation with me so much as sadness and longing. Chris' "Heart Shaped World" came next. Four am and I've got the verses of this song running through my head with the visuals of the "Wicked Game" music video. Dear god. Enough already!!!!!

I've been slowly tuning back in. It's rough. My head aches and my heart is crying. I have to make a tough decision here about the kids' schooling and I don't think anybody's going to be happy with it but me.

We've tried virtual schooling since August of this year. The youngest was being bullied and the eldest showed potential to do far more than what the school would allow him to do. The first month and a half was insane as we tried to learn a completely new system of learning. By the first part of October we were doing fine. Then things started happening which made me realize just how much more independent the boys were truly capable of being but were simply choosing not to be. So I slowly backed off and gave them room to grow. They showed out with temper tantrums and thirteen hour days instead of six. It's all about what they choose to do. It's completely up to them. Brow beating them doesn't work anymore. They're immune to it.

Virtual schooling is a privilege, not a right. Well, technically, it is a "right" of every American parent, however in this particular instance I'm stating that it is a privilege which is just as easily taken away as anything else.

I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting with them, tired of school feeling like a war I wake up to every morning, tired of fighting with my husband over why the kids are still doing schoolwork at 7 o'clock at night, and most of all I'm tried of trying to make peace when all three of them apparently don't give a crap about how much stress this puts me under and how much worse my chronic pain illness flares up because of it. The kids say they want to do virtual school but their actions speak volumes of the opposite and nothing I do seems to change their mind.

When my body pain flares due to stress the entire household essentially shuts down because I am in bed. Nobody seems capable of doing anything correctly without me standing over them or smacking them on the back of the head. Or reminding them. Or writing a list. Or taking away their video games. Or pointing out the obvious fact that no, honey, I'm not going to be able to cook dinner tonight. I'm laying down on the bed with a heating pad behind my shoulders, an icepack on my forehead, and am chugging down Cherry Coke at a frightening speed just to keep the migraine at bay with the caffeine. (I can't take Excedrin because it makes me dizzy so I have to get my caffeine through other products.)

As much as I positively love the flexibility of virtual school for the boys(I could write a book on the virtues of it!! I really do love it! I see it's positive worth and the kids have gained invaluable experience from it.) - it's killing me. Giving deadlines and setting kitchen timers for completing assignments and changing their procrastinating 'I just want to talk and not do schoolwork' attitude hasn't worked. The more I try to steer them in line the more they resist. It's created more tension. Being the stepmom who has the kids during the school year really sucks sometimes. She got out of the marriage easy and honestly? Some days I really hate her for it.

Their birthmom gets the fun job of simply picking them up on Holidays and taking them out for amusement park trips. I'm the one who has the onerous job of making sure their schooling is taken care of. If I don't then I look just as bad as she did when she was married to hubby. She certainly didn't give a damn. So why should I? (I'm suffering from Second-Wife-Syndrome, can't you tell?)

Answer: because I love the boys and I want them to grow up to be flexible, independent minded adults; not sheep. They show the capacity for learning.

But the more I "care" the more they pit their attitudes against me. I feel like a failure. And it doesn't matter how many logical discussions we have together or individually. They understand the rationale. They really do! They simply choose not to care.

And this is why I'm done with virtual school and being so involved with their schooling, period. I do care. But I care about my sanity more. And that's really the bottom line. If I'm driven bonkers because I care so much then how can I help out around the house and do the basic things which need to be done? Hubby has gotten so used to me taking over all the schooling issues that he just sits back and lets me do it all. Well, my lips are sealed as of today. He's going to have to grow a pair and take hold of the reins.

So that's the end of the book I wrote yesterday. When I woke up from my afternoon nap today it was from a nightmare. Vivid. I felt like if I opened my eyes I'd be right smack in the middle of it. This nightmare is what prompted me to sit down at the computer today and take stock of what has happened the past few weeks.

The nightmare was what our school day was going to be like this coming Tuesday when they returned from their birthmother's. Time-outs. Yelling. Frustration. Whining. More time-outs. Procrastination. Rinse and repeat at will.... And then finally, both boys end up sitting on their bed, grounded, the rest of the afternoon because they are simply not willing to quietly do their work.

We have had whole afternoons like that in the past. Few and far between but yes, they have occurred. So it's not some surreal creation of my imagination. But when I woke up it felt like a horrible epiphany and I had to act on it. So swallowed my angst and asked what it meant. The answer? "You already know." Gee. Thanks.

Sarcasm aside, yes, I do know what it means. Sometimes you gotta ask stupid questions and get stupid answers before you sit up and take note of the obvious. Thick head and all that.

Hubby and I have been arguing about this for about two weeks now. I told him I was done two weeks ago. He remained hopeful that I'd find another positive "wave" coming into shore and would ride out this negative one, thus forgetting why I was so upset. Nope. Ain't gonna happen.

I really am done being their "Learning Coach," as the school calls the position of the parent who stays home with the child(ren). More like their babysitter without the benefits of being recognized as an authority on anything more than answering ridiculous questions like, "But I don't understand this. What does this say?" *sigh* If a child can read(and mine can, very very well, thank you.) then following simple step-by-step instructions isn't difficult. If it is then you have a learning problem. These boys don't. Or, if they'd like to make one up it'd be called "ActLikeAnIdiotAndMaybeShe'llBeStupidEnoughToGiveUsTheAnswer."

Sorry, but this momma ain't no dummy. I wasn't born one and I certainly didn't become one by marrying their father. My IQ did not drop when I said "I Do" and they knew me for quite a while before I said those words. I see right through them. And when they're faced with this knowledge they clam up and then act even more belligerent.

So, that's where I've been the past few weeks. In my own little private hell of my own making. Because you know, I'm the one who pushed for them to try virtual school in the first place when the bullying became too much and the other child's potential was staring us in the face. I'm the one who jumped through the fiery hoops to make it all happen, which, by the way, took months of preparation.

Now I have to figure out how I'm going to react when they come back from vacation. Pondering. Musing. I'm getting there, slowly but surely. The fact that I'm putting my foot down already makes me feel about 20% better. Now maybe I can ease up on the Cherry Coke.

*******************************

The title of a book I'd read in the past came to mind from Pleroma a few days ago and I finally acted on the direction to look it up again. It's the series of books by Jane Roberts which begins with "Seth Speaks." That's actually the only one I've read. It blew my mind. Opened doors.

Now I find out there were other Seth books put out by the "author." I have them on the way and look forward to revisiting this character. I peeked into The Nature of Psyche: Its Human Expression on Amazon and found a passage which held me riveted to my chair for a full hour in silent contemplation. As a lay gnostic with some time and experience with Pleroma, I think I can read Seth's writings in a different light now. It's glaringly obvious now what I was reading at the time in Seth Speaks, however, I stalled for years until another knock came on my mental door, and that was the call to layman's gnosis.

From page four of the Nature of Psyche: Its Human Expression:

"... for each of your experiences, however minute or seemingly insignificant, becomes part of the knowledge of your species. Where did you come from and where are you going? What are you? What is the nature of the psyche?

I can only write a portion of this book. You must complete it. For "The Psyche" is meaningless concept as it relates to the individual psyche. I speak to you from levels of yourself that you have forgotten, and yet not forgotten. I speak to you through the printed page, and yet my words will rearouse within you the voices that spoke to you in your childhood, and before your birth.

This will not be a dry treatise, studiously informing you about some hypothetical structure called the psyche, but will instead evoke from the depths of your being experiences that you have forgotten, and bring together from the vast reaches of time and space the miraculous identity that is yourself."

Br. Jay on Night Caravan wrote:

Adam....Where is Your Leaf?

Jesus said, "Adam came from immense power and wealth, but he wasn't worthy of you. If he was worthy, he wouldn't have tasted death." Gospel of Thomas 85

Adam came from God, and yet he chose to fall into ignorance. The death is the blindness of the soul to that of the spirit. He forgot where he came from, and who he was. The practice of this way is not easy. It is much easier to fall into ignorance again and again. What a challenge to keep this fire going day and night. Only those who pursue this gnosis will taste of it. One need not convert to my religion or any particular religion to know this gnosis. However one must do the work and be met by grace that changes everything about you. The fruit of this is compassion.

Amen, Brother!

Vital Drug Shortages- Who is to blame??

2010-10-27T20:59:00.007-04:00

I find this news topic intriguing on a number of levels. First, why wouldn't the FDA slap a 'negligent attitude' type lawsuit against Big Pharma? Because that's exactly what they are, negligent. Second, can anyone else read between the lines here? We're being exterminated, one sick population segment at a time. I smell something in the air.... could it be.. maybe? .... a newly formed underground black market for these types of 'discontinued' or 'unavailable drugs.' Either way, the company gets it's money.

When vital drugs run out, patients pay the price

150 medications in short supply so far this year; deaths, injuries have followed

By JoNel Aleccia Health writer

msnbc.com

updated 10/27/2010 8:24:19 AM ET

Cancer patient Bob Dierker had just finished eight of 12 chemotherapy sessions when technicians broke the news.

Next time, they said, he'd get no leucovorin, the generic medication long used to battle his type of aggressive Stage 3 colorectal cancer. The drug was in short supply across the nation and he'd have to go without.

“It was like getting shot in the stomach,” said Dierker, 64, a lawyer from Fairfax, Va. “My odds just dropped dramatically because I can’t get this drug.”

Exactly how Dierker’s chances of beating the cancer will be affected is unclear, said his oncologist, Dr. Alexander Spira. Leucovorin has been used to boost the effectiveness of cancer drugs for decades, so no one knows how badly patients will fare without it. But Dierker is not alone.

Across the United States, life-saving or medically necessary drugs are running low — or running out — endangering care and increasing the odds of medication mistakes for a broad swath of patients.

Health officials say drug shortages pose a growing public health crisis, fueled in large part by financial motives of drugmakers who’ve watched low-cost generics erode their profits.

Numerous drugmakers contacted by msnbc.com either refused to comment on the shortages or confirmed only that they exist. None would discuss financial considerations.

Unprecedented numbers

“It’s disaster management, daily,” said Erin Fox, manager of the Drug Information Service at the University of Utah Health Care, who has tracked drug shortages for a decade. “The numbers are unprecedented.”

In 2005, Fox recorded 74 drug shortages in the U.S. By 2009, the number had jumped to 166. As of Sept. 10 this year, Fox had logged 150 new shortages — in addition to 30 drug shortages still unresolved and more being reported every week.

Worse, the drugs that are in short supply are often the ones needed most. This year has seen shortages of common drugs used for basic treatments: morphine for pain relief, propofol for sedation, Bactrim injections for infections.

Sterile injectables, including the pre-filled epinephrine syringes used in emergencies for heart attacks and allergic reactions, have been particularly hard to get.

“Our usual, everyday workhorse drugs are no longer available,” said Fox. “It’s just the unavailability of everything that we need every day.”

About 40 percent of the shortages are caused by manufacturing problems, including safety issues, said Valerie Jensen, associate director of the Food and Drug Administration's drug shortage program. Nearly 20 percent are caused when firms simply stop making drugs and another 20 percent are due to production delays. The rest are chalked up to raw material shortages, increased demand, site issues and problems with parts such as syringes or vials.

But underlying them all is the profitability problem, said Jensen.

“Normally, it’s a business decision. That does lead to shortages,” said Jensen. "These are just not usually money-makers."

FDA can't require drug production

Despite the concerns of doctors and pharmacists — and the distress of patients — no one can force the drugmakers to address the problem.

The FDA has no authority to compel drugmakers to continue producing a certain drug, or to require them to make a drug that’s in short supply, Jensen confirmed. And companies aren’t required to inform the agency about impending shortages unless the drugs don't have an alternative. Even then, there are no sanctions if they don’t.

When firms do tell FDA about a problem, the agency can’t publicly divulge proprietary information, Jensen said. Shortages on the FDA’s website are often chalked up to mysterious “manufacturing delays,” or frequently, no reason at all.

That has created a system in which pharmacists, doctors and patients may not know that a shortage exists until a drug is needed — and even then they don’t know how long it will last.

“There has been a lot of 11^th hour scrambling,” said Dr. Richard L. Schilsky, a professor of medicine and chief of hematology/oncology at the University of Chicago. “We literally don’t know from week to week who’s going to be able to be treated.”

The problem has reached such a peak that four leading groups representing cancer doctors, anesthesiologists, pharmacists and safety advocates have convened an invitation-only meeting in Bethesda, Md., on Nov. 5. They’re asking drugmakers and supply chain representatives to join health experts and observers from the FDA to hammer out solutions.

“I’m going to give these folks the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t know the impact at the patient care level,” said Bona Benjamin, director of medication-use quality improvement at the American Society of Health System Pharmacists.

But a nationwide survey of 1,800 health care workers conducted this summer by the Institute for Safe Medication Practices left little doubt about the impact on patients.

Two deaths blamed on morphine shortage

“It’s really a mess out there,” said Michael Cohen, director of ISMP, a nonprofit group that aims to reduce medical errors. “It is making us compromise the way we do things normally.”

More than half of the respondents to ISMP said that in the past year they had “always” or “frequently” encountered shortages of a list of common drugs.

One in three reported that the shortages caused medication errors that could have harmed patients and one in four said the mistakes reached patients. One in five said patients were actually harmed.

“We had two deaths where there was a morphine shortage,” Cohen said, explaining that a much more potent replacement drug, hydromorphone, was given at the level of the original, overdosing the patients.

Another patient woke up mid-way through surgery because medical crews trying to conserve the sedative propofol had given too little medication for the patient’s weight.

Such critical mistakes are bound to happen when shortages of so many drugs start to add up, said Thomas Burnakis, clinical coordinator of pharmacy services at Baptist Medical Center in Jacksonville, Fla.

“If I am the best centerfielder in the world, you can hit me a pop fly and I’ll catch it. You can hit me two or even three and I’ll catch them,” he said. “If you start hitting me 15, I’m going to start dropping them.”

It’s not just the mainstream drugs that are the problem. Shortages of niche drugs or those used for rare conditions have occurred, too.

In January, sufferers of a potentially blinding condition called birdshot retinochoroidopathy uveitis learned that Zenapax, the best drug for keeping symptoms at bay, had been discontinued by drugmaker Roche.

“I cannot tell you the panic I felt,” said Lynn Shaw, a 60-year-old nurse from Franklin, Mass., who was diagnosed with the disease 2 ½ years ago. “I was positive I was going to lose my vision. I thought, ‘Oh, my god, I’m going to go blind because of these jerks.'”

Chris Vancheri, a spokesman for Roche, said the company decided to stop making the drug, which is normally used in kidney transplant patients, because there were alternative treatments available. The problem, Shaw and other patients said, is that alternative drugs are either less effective or pose unacceptable side effects such as life-threatening high blood pressure and liver damage.

Drug companies won't talk

Shaw believes that Roche, like many manufacturers, stopped production when generics undercut the brand name price. Vancheri would not comment on the profitability of Zenapax.

Nor would representatives for Teva Pharmaceuticals and Bedford Laboratories, the makers of leucovorin, discuss the reasons for the shortage of the generic drug that has left Bob Dierker, the Virginia lawyer, with depleted cancer treatments.

Bedford representatives did not return repeated calls and e-mails from msnbc.com. Teva representative Denise Bradley would only confirm what patients have known for months, that the drugmaker halted production at its Irvine, Calif., plant in April.

"I do not have an estimated date of when we will resume manufacturing at this time," Bradley wrote in an e-mail.

Representatives for the drug manufacturers’ trade group, PhRMA, declined to discuss the largest-ever drug shortage in the nation, referring questions to individual manufacturers.

But Dierker thinks he knows what’s behind the recent shortage of generic leucovorin, the second since 2008. In some regions, a 50-milligram dose of generic leucovorin costs 98 cents; a newer brand-name alternative called Fusilev costs $184.08. But many insurance companies, including Dierker's, won't pay for it.

“It’s money, pure and simple,” said Dierker, a new grandfather who fears he won’t see 6-month-old Rhett grow up.

He’d like to do something about the shortage: organize a class action lawsuit, get a colleague to pursue a criminal case. But for now, he’s just angry.

“To have some faceless, nameless coward running a pharmaceutical lab decide he wants a bigger BMW and isn’t going to make your drug — I feel helpless,” Dierker said. “That’s the really frustrating thing, not to be able to do anything about it.”

Guatemala's Secret STD Experiments

2010-10-02T14:41:00.003-04:00

Just released YESTERDAY, this article makes me asks a pretty obvious question: who shuffled this information into the wrong box? Or was it the wrong box? Still trust the Department of Health? Don't. They obviously only want guinea pigs for their Live Action studies.

The Tuskegee Experiment was called "arguably the most infamous biomedical research study in U.S. history." Well, here's some news- how about chemtrails? Great Britain's "Health Department" refuses to answer questions about the obvious chemical trails in the sky criss crossing the aerial view of certain locales. The US government denies it as well even though there are hundreds of videos released every day on YouTube SHOWING the difference between a contrail(normal condensation trail) and a chemtrail. Look up and the evidence is right there in your face.

This Guatemalan experiment may have ended in 1948 after two years but the Tuskegee experiment went unchecked for forty!!! Aerial biochemical experiments upon the civilians of our world have been going on for at least a hundred years.

U.S. apologizes to Guatemalans for secret STD experiments

By Brett Michael Dykes
Fri Oct 1, 1:04 pm ET

U.S. scientific researchers infected hundreds of Guatemalan mental patients with sexually transmitted diseases from 1946 to 1948 -- a practice that only came recently to light thanks to the work of an academic researcher. On Friday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius issued a formal apology to the Central American nation, and to Guatemalan residents of the United States.

"Although these events occurred more than 64 years ago, we are outraged that such reprehensible research could have occurred under the guise of public health," said Clinton and Sebelius in a joint statement. "We deeply regret that it happened, and we apologize to all the individuals who were affected by such abhorrent research practices."

The discovery of the long-ago experiments stems from another, far better known episode of federal tampering with test subjects to study sexually transmitted diseases: the long-running "Tuskegee experiment," studying 399 poor black men from Macon County, Ala., who had been diagnosed with syphilis but never informed of their condition. Federal scientists simply told the men they had "bad blood" and researchers compiled a four-decades-long study monitoring "untreated syphilis in the male Negro." Researchers never treated the illness over its usually fatal course, even after the simple remedy of penicillin was shown to be an effective syphilis treatment; participants received only free meals and medical exams, together with federal funding of their funeral expenses after they died. The study began in 1932, continuing right through to 1972, when it was exposed in media reports.

One of the better-known experts on the Tuskegee scandal is Susan Reverby, a professor of women's and gender studies at Wellesley College who has published two books on the subject. As she was researching her most recent book, Reverby learned of the Guatemalan project, in which researchers from the U.S. Public Health Service conducted experiments on 696 male and female patients housed at Guatemala's National Mental Health Hospital. The scientists injected the patients with gonorrhea and syphilis -- and even encouraged many of them to pass the disease on to others.

"It was done in conjunction with the Guatemalan government," Reverby told The Upshot in a phone interview Friday morning. "They had permission from the Guatemalan government."

Reverby explained that she learned of the Guatemala study purely by accident.

"I was in the archives of the University of Pittsburgh looking at the papers of the surgeon general at the time," Reverby said. "And the papers there were also the papers of a man named John Cutler, who had also been involved in the Tuskegee study. When I opened the boxes of the Cutler papers, there was nothing in it about Tuskegee, but there was everything about this Guatemala study."

Reverby -- who was instrumental in getting former President Bill Clinton to offer an apology for the Tuskegee experiment in 1997 -- told us that she informed Dr. David Sencer, the former head of the Centers for Disease Control; Sencer then passed the discovery up the chain of command in the U.S. government.

"As with many of these things, it was just pure serendipity," Reverby said. "I was the right person in the right place at the right time."

Just gosh darn beautiful

2010-09-26T16:57:00.011-04:00

I've been thinking about vampire author Anne Rice's erm... deconversion? if that's the word, from atheist to Catholic to just plain Christian. If not an atheist again. Not quite sure about that last bit. She may have just simply lost her temper in a really bad way saying,

"In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian."

Hmm... like I said, not too sure about her truly shedding the Christian mantle. Gnostics could claim all these things in her above quote. Some Gnostics call themselves Christians while others consider the word to be too ugly and tainted to use anymore as a true descriptive when speaking of spiritual gnosis. The Roman Catholic Church has spawned too many degenerate bastardized subsidiaries to know what's fact from fiction; the whole while claiming to have the patent and apostolic succession to divine grace. No wonder she's confused and pissed off! She may have sworn off the RCC but that does not mean she's an atheist once again.

Anyway, today I was sitting back a while ago and admiring my shelf of first editions from her vampire series (Thank you, hubby! XOXOXO you're the best! he's such an eBay whore. Very useful at times.) and a descriptive phrase from several of her books jumped into my mind.

"The totality of salvation."

Her vampire character, Lestat, uses the phrase several times throughout the series. The first time was, I believe, in Memnoch the Devil and the most recent was Blood Canticle. "The totality of salvation" is Lestat's personal vision of God. All mysteries solved and laid bare. The chaotic ripples and twists of the universe calm under the divine eye of Truth.

I like it. I've adopted it. It is now in my personal library of chosen ways to view the universe in all its complexity.

Statisticians have elegant formulas for supposedly solving 'chance encounters' and 'coincidence' problems but honestly, I can't think of anything more beautiful than this phrase. It rolls off the tongue like pure poetry and settles into the mind like a soothing balm.

The Totality of Salvation.

... even if, though gnosis, we don't really have anything to be saved from but our own inherent human blindness, it's still a beautiful credo.

David Wilcock conference videos

2010-09-25T20:51:00.004-04:00

The following is a collection of videos filmed at the 2008 Conscious Life Expo held in Los Angeles, California. It features David Wilcock speaking(after being introduced) talking about expanding consciousness. WELL worth your time!!!! Amazing stuff.

If you wrap up all his ideas in one big ball you'll see that he's dancing around the very concept of gnosis. But he doesn't actually state it. The mathematical geometry he points out is pure poetry. The "coincidences" in collected Vatican art is shocking. We're surrounded by layers of gnostic concepts and it truly boggles the mind how more people have not made the connections to our classical past and the pre-Biblical era. Then again, think about the state of our public school education.... it brings me to tears.

On another note, I think I need to mention that I've been reading more about the Illuminati and their connection to the Vatican. Please bear in mind that the polar opposite of gnosticism is Satanism. (Satanists use the snake-in-Eden metaphor as permission to act like demonic monsters while gnostics see the snake as Kundalini(innate second intelligence/Pleroma) rising to the surface of the mind.) They are contradictory to one another down to their very foundation. Gnosis has nothing to do with Satan!! Gnostics may believe in the greatest amount of freedom being essential to growth, however Satanists do so in a purely maniacal destructive way which is counter-productive to growth. Like the contrasting Stoics with the Epicureans. Black and white. Night and day.

Now use that information to infer exactly WHY we would be seeing all the gnostic symbolism at some place like the Vatican which has persocuted gnostics for nearly two thousand years. The answer is enough to bring any sane person to their knees with grief and horror. We must be wary. We must keep our eyes and ears open. Use logic and when that fails, reach out to Pleroma to feel truth. Just don't be shocked if he says, "It'll be ok." That's his typical response. Why? Because in the grand scheme of the universe it truly will be alright, no matter how this bizarre experiment called Earth ends up. What matters is your growth and life experiences. Burying your head in the sand isn't living.

Part 1:

Part2:
Blog author's comments:
The explanation of K rising(how and why) is magnificent!!! Logical. Graduated steps and compression into forming what is true full consciousness.

Part 3:

Part 4:
Blog Author's Comments:
The explanation of the internal structure of the pineal gland is quite intriguing. Source/Pleroma derived visual images transmitted and interpreted through "Silver Cord." Spot on! The statement of hearing "a cracking noise when having an out of body experience" made me stumble, though. Death. Could it also be a popping noise like what I heard in a recent experience of my own? Interpretive differences perhaps. Not sure.

At 2:02 of the 4th vid he talks about the pressurized "buzz, tone, or acceleration" inside the head when the EM field around the pineal gland is activated. That sounds an awful lot like what it feels like when I "push" matter during hand practice. I feel the pressure sensation in my head first(jaw relaxed for concentration) but the afterglow of effort and washed out energy is felt through the stomach. And he says that it randomly "kicks up" during the day sometimes. Nope!! It's not random. It's Pleroma. He's talking about lay gnosis and he doesn't even realize it. "And it requires a great deal of work." *sigh* Not true. It actually requires more focus to tune Pleroma out. We're so conditioned to doing it as we grow into close-minded adults that it becomes second nature to us.

Part 5:

Part6:

There are four vids after this but these six were most relevant to gnosticism.

Twitch, Nudge, Push, GO!

2010-09-19T00:53:00.005-04:00

Had a beautiful experience today. I was in a terrible amount of pain. Drugged up to the gills. Crying I was hurting so badly. White hot agony. Just felt like putting my fist through the wall I was so frustrated with the sudden pain. Felt the urge to lay down and meditate. Holy cow- I was able to!!! And right in front of my husband no less!! I cannot explain to you just how big this is. I felt deep and lasting Source connection, breathing was easy, my body relaxed, and I was able to feel absolute calm. I had to fight for it a few times but I managed to pull myself back from being self-conscious and just letting go.

This was actually the longest I've been able to meditate while using the hand trick. Ever.

During my meditation, my left hand would periodically twitch outward toward my husband. Sometimes I do twitch because of muscle spasms with the FM. But this wasn't that type of muscle spasm. As much as I realized that was a not so subtle hint.... I declined. I was too delirious to pay attention to someone else trying to have a conversation with me(like my husband) besides listening to Pleroma. Ok. I admit it. I was feeling a bit greedy for attention. I wanted to feel better and didn't want to be interrupted in my new found tranquility.

I slept well for about an hour and woke up pain free.

I have resolved to meditate with him tomorrow. Don't know how successful we'll be but I'll try.

Naasene Sermon "The Goatherd"

2010-09-18T23:15:00.002-04:00

Strange word, goatherd. Replace it with shepherd and it makes a bit more sense. In any case, the following is a section of a Naasene sermon which is part of the Gnostic Bible collection.

A few weeks ago I was given a koan by Pleroma which I figured out after a few moments of careful consideration but the significance of it has stayed with me since.

The koan was, "Who is at the right hand of god?" Hint: God isn't square. Or even three dimensional with the types of edges and corners you'd expect.

The Greek translated words are in parenthesis.

The Phrygians also call him goatherd(aipolos), not because he feeds goats, as the psychical people call them, but because he is ever turning(aeipolos) and circulating and impressing the whole universe with turning motion. For to turn(polein) is to circulate and alter matters. That is why the two centers of the heaven are called poles. And the poet also said,

"An old man, wave dwelling, frequently comes around here, deathless Proteus, the Egyptian."(Homer, Odyssey 4.384-85. The Greek for "comes" is poleitai.)

Poleitai does not mean that he is sold but that he turns about and goes around. Furthermore, cities(poleis) in which we live are so called because we turn and circulate(poloumen) in them. So the Phrygians call aipolos the one who always turns things in every direction and transfers them to his own domain.

I believe this piece of literature tries to frame in a more visual means what the Book of Thomas declared; that Jesus did not come to placate or soothe but to stir up, agitate, and set fire to the world. The Valentinian "Round Dance of the Cross" is another perfect example of this concept.

NEW 2010 Info On Codex Alimentarius

2010-09-15T21:36:00.015-04:00

July 5th, 2010 Codex Commission Meeting Report, Day 1 Part 1

July 5th, 2010 - Part 2

Part 2 and 3

"Forty percent dairy content"??!!! Hell, we drink skim milk now as it is. Might as well dump water on my kid's cereal and tell them that they're going to have to learn to like it.

Day 2, July 6th, 2010 Codex Commission Meeting Report

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5266884912495233634#docid=3273956447915041292

This is a three year old video and I believe it's only half of the full length. If anyone can point the way to this missing later half it would be much appreciated.

We need another uprising. We should have HAD another uprising before Obama put pen to paper. What happened, that's what I would like to know. I am a very health conscious individual and I'd never heard of DSHEA or Codex until a few days ago.

"Forced harmonization," which Ron Paul describes is exactly what it sounds like-- handcuffs. And a lot more fluoride in our water. Or government mandated tranquilizers in our morning cuppa coffee/tea. Oh wait... caffeine is a drug. Hmm.. Would I need a prescription for that? 'cause I really like my Cherry Coke.

Codex Alimentarius-- IMPORTANT ARTICLE!!

2010-09-15T15:34:00.006-04:00

Please send links of this blog posts or at least the links to the videos to all your friends and family. This piece of legislation needs to be publicized for what it really is.

Nutrients are toxins. Ya know... Vitamin D supplements, ginko biloba, oh and how about natural plant extracts?!! Yep. They're all regulated by Codex Alimentarius now. Even tea tree oil.

"Codex Alimentarius" used to be a voluntary set of guidelines until the World Health Organization plus several other supposedly helpful organizations got together and decided to regulate and control the food supply of the world. Vitamins and minerals are now listed as food. Therefore they are able to be controlled.

June 16th, 2010 is when Obama made it official. Read it here. Executive Order #13544 in PDF format; this is the end of the road for all those people who think that Big Pharma isn't in cahoots with Uncle Sam. Or... is that the other way around? The money changes hands so fast I'm shocked more Judicial Watch lawyers don't have whiplash trying to watch it all happening right in front of their faces.

The following video is the first part of a series of talks by Dr. Rima Laibow MD, available on DVD from the Natural Solutions Foundation, an non-profit organization dedicated to educating people about how to stop Codex Alimentarius from taking away our right to freely choose nutritional health.

If this vid is broken(likely scenario) then you can use this direct URL to access it:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5266884912495233634# I've been wrestling with this issue all day. Can't get the vid to load properly here. Google is either really smart or really stupid. I'm leaning more toward the side of really smart. And tired of getting so many hits on this topic, probably.

What can we expect under Codex? To give you an idea, here are some important points:

Dietary supplements could not be sold for preventive (prophylactic) or therapeutic use.
Potencies would be limited to extremely low dosages. Only the drug companies and the big phytopharmaceutical companies would have the right to produce and sell the higher potency products (at inflated prices).
Prescriptions would be required for anything above the extremely low doses allowed (such as 35 mg. on niacin).
Common foods such as garlic and peppermint would be classified as drugs or a third category (neither food nor drugs) that only big pharmaceutical companies could regulate and sell. Any food with any therapeutic effect can be considered a drug, even benign everyday substances like water.
Codex regulations for dietary supplements would become binding (escape clauses would be eliminated).
All new dietary supplements would be banned unless they go through Codex testing and approval.
Genetically altered food would be sold worldwide without labeling.

According to John Hammell, a legislative advocate and the founder of International Advocates for Health Freedom (IAHF), here is what we have to look forward to:

"If Codex Alimentarius has its way, then herbs, vitamins, minerals, homeopathic remedies, amino acids and other natural remedies you have taken for granted most of your life will be gone. The name of the game for Codex Alimentarius is to shift all remedies into the prescription category so they can be controlled exclusively by the medical monopoly and its bosses, the major pharmaceutical firms. Predictably, this scenario has been denied by both the Canadian Health Food Association and the Health Protection Branch of Canada (HPB)."

Today I found this MSNBC news clip which shows the "safety" side of the argument slowly but surely making it's way to the forefront. For the moment they're sticking to attacking chemically derived substances which the CIA and Navy originally concocted to be a substitute for codeine. And yet when it comes to easing pain DXM has not shown to better than placebo in trials. Curious, eh? If it doesn't work then why use it? ..... oh... that's right... we need to keep waging a "War on Drugs."

MSNBC news clip about salmonella in egg supply: Pay careful attention to what she says at 2:00 and forward about combining the FDA and the USDA... interesting, yes? Coincidence? Not on your life!

By the way, Codex's main commission office is located in Rome(the supposed headquarters of the Illuminati). Here's the strategic plan from 2008-2013, directly from Codex's site. 5.4 is especially interesting considering the proposed "Internet Kill Switch" up for debate a while back. 5.5 Well, that's basically you and me telling on our neighbors to Big Brother.

HealthFreedomUSA.org has been added to the Human Rights Sites & Organizations module on the blog.

Guardian Angels Are Here, Say Most Americans

2010-09-13T16:29:00.007-04:00

Angels-- another name for Pleroma! Or Aeons. Emanations of Pleroma.
I wonder just how many of these people will make the connection to gnosis?

Many thanks to Steve, who brought this wonderful article to my attention. You are a dear.

Guardian Angels Are Here, Say Most Americans

TIME Life Magazine, By: David Van Biema Thursday, Sep. 18, 2008

More than half of all Americans believe they have been helped by a guardian angel in the course of their lives, according to a new poll by the Baylor University Institute for Studies of Religion. In a poll of 1700 respondents, 55% answered affirmatively to the statement, "I was protected from harm by a guardian angel." The responses defied standard class and denominational assumptions about religious belief; the majority held up regardless of denomination, region or education — though the figure was a little lower (37%) among respondents earning more than $150,000 a year.

The guardian angel encounter figures were "the big shocker" in the report, says Christopher Bader, director of the Baylor survey that covered a range of religious issues, parts of which are being released Thursday in a book titled What Americans Really Believe. In the case of angels, however, the question is a little stronger than just belief. Says Bader, "If you ask whether people believe in guardian angels, a lot of people will say, 'sure.' But this is different. It's experiential. It means that lots of Americans are having these lived supernatural experiences."

Sociologists may need further research to determine how broadly the data should be interpreted. The Baylor study tested other statements that might indicate a similar belief in the supernatural intruding into everyday personal experience — "I heard the voice of God speaking to me"; and "I

received a miraculous physical healing." But far fewer people claimed to have had those experiences. This raises the possibility that guardian angels, which famously support an industry of sentimental accessories, are just so darned attractive that they exist in a charmed belief niche of their own.

But other factors may be in play. On one end of the spectrum of American religion are the analytical churches, on both the right and the left theologically and politically, which are primarily concerned with establishing Biblical principles to live by — and are suspicious of any modern-day irruption of the supernatural into religious life. Their miracles all took place in the Bible. At the opposite end of the spectrum are the more experiential churches, like many African-American denominations and those in the Pentecostal movement, that lay heavy emphasis on the workings of the Holy Spirit, where the supernatural, through gifts like healing, prophesying and speaking in tongues, makes regular visits in the pews. In the middle are sacramental faiths like Roman Catholicism, where the supernatural has a regular place on the altar (after all, the Eucharist is said to be the literal body and blood of Christ) but one that occurs only within the restrictions of very specific ritual.

What's interesting about the Baylor findings on guardian angel experiences is that they cross all boundaries. They have scriptural writ (in Psalm 91 and elsewhere). They are clearly experiential. And guardian angels are a prominent part of Catholic belief that happens to float freely outside of a sacrament. The cross-spectrum legitimacy of the notion of angelic interventions may free Americans to engage in the kind of folk faith that is part of almost any religious system but is not always officially acknowledged.

Randall Balmer, chairman of the religion department at New York's Barnard College, says that the Baylor angel figures are one in a periodic series of indications that "Americans live in an enchanted world," and engage in a kind of casual mysticism independent of established religious ritual, doctrine or theology. "There is," he says, a "much broader uncharted range of religious experience among the populace than we expect." Just possibly, Baylor has begun to chart it.

********************************

This is a wonderful video from TrueBlueHealer.com showing the significance of "guardian angels" in connection with gnosis.

Another Discussion On Free Will

2010-09-12T13:15:00.005-04:00

Engaging non-gnostics in discussion about what happened in the Garden of Eden is an eclectic show of either snide childish humor and dismissal or the non-gnostic asking(what they think) to be deep questions about why we, as gnostics, choose to believe something which is what atheists call "self justification." In other words: "You just don't want to believe what I do because you're egotistical." Oh and then they usually call us Satanists. Sorry, hate to burst everyone's bubble of delusion and ignorance but gnostics are not Satanists.

Ego has nothing to do with the truth when found in gnosis, contrary to what misinformation is spread through the world wide web and other means. We don't worship ourselves as god, we simply acknowledge our divine connection through spirit to the All; as being part of his body. Ego does, on the other hand, have quite a bit to do with the reason why people keep their eyes squeezed shut so tightly against the truth when it's staring them in the face. Let me further flesh out this argument by quoting a recent discussion. Red text are my own thoughts. Changer01 on YouTube is talking about how he thinks gnostic texts are contradictory and that gnostics are Satanists. I reply:

The gnostic concept of the universe is the only way to logically answer "if God is good then why is our world so effed up?"

The answer is so obvious that it shocks people.

The gnostic gospels are "contradictory" because they're NOT meant to be understood literally but metaphorically. This is a huge step away from the literalist religions which saturate the world today.

Changer01 replies:

@GnosticUnrest That's just to justify your hatred against god. If you would really look at human behaviour then you would notice how true the bible really is. (And this guy is supposedly an atheist?!) But I guess you don't want to meet god because you think that god is in yourself, so you build a story around it that pulls itself out of the swamp to justify how you are living instead of seeking the truth. That's a poor anti-religion. (This is the self justification I'm talking about.)

I replied back:

I look at the Bible and I DO see how true it is... in regard to the people who read it literally. That is why our world is the way it is. I don't hate god. I hate the contradictory role he's created for himself in our world. I think that by attacking gnosis you're simply doing what the Vatican wants you to-- look for a scapegoat. Good job!!! *pat on the back*

I seek truth every single day. And I find it every single day. I don't run from it. And I live a very moral life.

Afterward I challenged him:

If you can give me one valid reason(not an excuse!) for why Jehovah/Yahweh put the Tree of Good and Evil in Eden then I'll concede that you understand God. And none of this "he meant it as a lesson" or any of that mess. Why would a loving parent put something "dangerous" within easy reach of their child only to condemn and DAMN them afterward for being curious? Having free will means having a sense of curiosity. But it is that very curiosity which God forbids. Why?

Why would further knowledge about god be wrong? Eating the fruit opened their eyes, made them see what WAS instead of what god wanted them to see.

He wrote back:

Since they had no sin and thus no necessity of acknowledging evil, they didn't need to eat from that tree. But they could eat from the tree of life whenever they wanted. Now because they didn't have any sin their inner being was not even curious for that forbidden tree so they would probably never have touched it. But then the snake came and brought them to doubt: "Should god have told you not to eat it?"

He continued on:

Why should they have had to know this? They had abundant life, knew only the good and not the evil (which was not ruling this world yet), plus they were like god in the world (god has set them to reign) and the snake lied at them and said the WOULD be like god if they ate from the tree! Gnosticism is like trying to wake up the died soul of adam, declared to a holy divine spark. Actually it's exactly that.

That's the spiritual principle of the old adam. Want rather something fresh?

I replied:

@Changer01, "Want something fresh?" ......No thank you. I prefer to keep my head up ABOVE the sand instead of sticking my head in it and my mind clear of that euphoric drug called "the illusion of free will" that the demiurge gave us upon creation. I prefer exercising that free will instead of merely saying I have it. It's like saying, "gay people can have rights but they just can't have THOSE rights." Hypocritical. Human is human and free will is free will. Accept it or enjoy those blinders.

The Paradise of Monasteries

2010-09-11T23:11:00.009-04:00

Manichaean Literature
The Gnostic Bible, pages 640-641

The Paradise of Monasteries

How good for us to have known your teaching!
Please have mercy on us, generous ruler.
The messenger of the father heals souls,
draws joy in all of us, and carries away sorrow.
Lofty and limitless, where darkness never comes,
all the monasteries and the dwelling places are great
in beauty, for they are happy in the light
and know no pain. Those who enter remain
forever. No blow or torture ever reaches them.
The clothing they wear no one made by hand.
They shine with light, and no ants crawl in them.
The green wreathes on their heads never lose color.
Their bodies are unfamiliar with dead weight
and don't droop. Their limbs are not paralyzed.
Heavy sleep never overtakes their souls,
and deceptive dreams and delusions are unknown
among them. In that land hunger and anguish
are not known. There is no thirst. The waters
of all its lakes give out a wondrous fragrance
everywhere. No one knows floods and drowning.
Their walk is quicker by far than lightning.

In their bodies there is no sickness. The actions
of all the dark powers leave them completely alone.
Fear and horror do not live in those lands,
nor does destruction. The trees don't shake down
their fruit. Decay is foreign to their fruit.

Within and outdoors it is replete with brilliance,
the gardens aromatic and no stray bricks
or thorns. Those who ascend to those precincts
and have knowledge will extol his manifestation.
No one suffers a dark shadow. Its earth and face
are radiant. Precious forms are free from hurt.
Their limbs don't become feeble with age.
They are happy. They speak well. They revere
the high generous one. There is glad sweet song
in splendid monasteries. No fear, no dogs howling,
no bird squawking, no confusing evil
and dreadful screeching. Nothing coarse in that land.
Darkness and fog have not marked pure paradise.
The self lives in light. The virtues of joy, love,
and beauty are shared. No living being dies.

Sterilization of Populations- The Akha, WHO, UNPF, & Obama's Science Advisor

2010-09-10T10:14:00.008-04:00

The Sterilizations of Populations is going to be an ongoing series here on GU as I find more info.

Info about the Akha people.

The video's poster says, "Akha women are made to take the tetanus toxoid vaccination repeatedly during pregnancy despite the fact that we have documented cases of spontaneous abortion as a result. The Akha are told if they don't agree to the vaccination they will not be given an ID card for the baby. We just LOVE what the Thai government does to the Akha!"(that last bit was sarcasm on part of the poster.)

Vid #2: Forced vaccinations of Akha women during pregnancy cause miscarriages.

People commenting to these vids on YouTube are saying, "where's your documentation? Where's your proof? What does the World Health Organization(WHO) say about it?"

The answer is that they don't have anything to say about it except denial. Who(pun intended) do you think funds the research for these vaccines? The Rockefeller Foundation. "The foundation also has traditionally held a major portion of its shares portfolio in the family's oil companies, beginning with Standard Oil and now with its corporate descendants, including Exxon Mobil.[20]

And how about the United Nations Population Fund? Pay careful attention to the last section "Relations to the US Government." Forced abortions and sterilizations. The US cut off funding so EU stepped up. How nice. And now Obama gives thumbs up to money once again being sent to China to fund god-knows-what other kinds of reproductive atrocities.

Obama also hired John Holdren as Science Adviser. This article will horrify you.

Oh, and we can't forget about Bill Gates and his family's wonderful legacy in Africa and other third-world countries.

"Endgame", Eugenics, and the American connection

2010-09-05T12:31:00.005-04:00

Check any trustworthy encyclopedia or archive of American history for "eugenics" and "planned parenthood" and what began in the late 1800's and continues now will shock you. Then again, google "Gardasil vaccine" and then it becomes clear as crystal.

I talk more about vaccines after the vids below. I've done lots more research on these topics and will list more links in the future during further discussion, but this video by Alex Jones is too perfect as a primer. This video is what I wish I had found when I began the long arduous task of digging into eugenics. It is two hours long so grab a bucket of popcorn and have paper and pen handy to take notes. It's a compact little beauty and well worth your time. Share it! Send a link to your friends and family!

The archons have arms and legs and mouths. They walk among us. They brag about it and we laugh like idiots; like rats in cages. Heck, we even vote for them.

"Endgame" by Alex Jones

At 1:41:54 a book by H.G. Wells is mentioned and shown. It's "The Open Conspiracy." Here's a link to more info about it. Horrifying and accurate. It's timing could not have been more prophetic with how science has progressed since, and in what areas.

Beginning at 1:45:20 the vid talks about chemtrails, a topic about which I actually have a personal family story to share. I was born in an island hospital(not disclosing a name, sorry.) near a military base. My father was in the Navy at the time. My mother told me that she recalls seeing planes constantly in the sky near dusk over particular islands nearby and even on our own. Only a few years after we left that island with my father's exiting the Navy, stories leaked out about "chemical trails" and "pandemic studies." Chemical trails being shortened to the more modern term chemtrails and pandemic studies now referred to as "biological warfare and pandemic studies." Simply put: the US military was(is still!) running a study on certain islands in a pandemic situation. Get the population sick with a certain pathogen and try to predict how they'd react and how fast response times would be with hospital and police. If you can predict how the mice in the maze will react then you can coerce and control them even effectively.

Check out this link to info about the mentioned Bilderberg Group and the now more evolved Trilateral Commission. The members list is impressive. Every exec head you can think of. Obama's Chairman of Economic Recovery Advisory Board, Paul Volcker is named. Then again, so is Hilary Clinton. That was kind of a no-brainer, though. Woman's got her fingers in everything.

More on Gardasil: to put this in more recent scope of events let's look at Gardasil vaccine as a tool of power. It is supposed to protect young women from HPV, a type of cervical cancer. But is it really a vaccine against cancer or is it a sterilization technique? Look at the ingredients. Dig deeper.

Here is an informational support group for families of victims.

Researching the members list for Bilderberg Group, my eye fell upon a curiously familiar name. Why? Because this gentleman was talked about(heck, his mansion was yelled AT!) during the last five minutes of "Endgame." Coincidence? No.

The governor of Texas, Rick Perry, issued an executive order mandating vaccination against HPV which was later overturned by the Texas legislature. Through lobbying efforts, Merck has suggested that governments make vaccination with Gardasil mandatory for school attendance, which has upset some conservative groups and libertarian groups.^[47]^[59]^[60]

There is an opt-out form available for parents but ask yourself this very important question- if your child is part of any kind of community funded healthcare program, how long do you think it would be before it would be mandatory in order to continue receiving healthcare services?

As early as May of 2007 adverse reactions were being reported about Gardasil. In 2008 Gardasil became a mandatory vaccine to be given to immigrants! Here is the full article on JudicialWatch.org:

"Ignoring its own Centers for Disease Control immunization expert, the government is forcing girls seeking U.S. residency to get a controversial cervical cancer vaccine that has been linked to 21 deaths and nearly 10,000 adverse reactions.
The Department of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services has added Gardasil to its list of vaccines required by legal immigrants to obtain residency, even though the physician who chairs the CDC’s immunization committee opposes it. Girls and young women who have received the vaccine, manufactured by pharmaceutical giant Merck, have suffered life-threatening effects including paralysis, severe circulatory problems and seizures. Others have died.

Judicial Watch has obtained the alarming government statistics documenting Gardasil’s serious side effects nationwide and published a lengthy report outlining the crisis associated with the vaccine, a top seller that has generated more than $1 billion in revenue for Merck.

The new immigration requirement is sure to further boost the company’s earnings, even though it makes no sense to mandate it to get a coveted U.S. Green Card. Among the 14 required vaccines, Gardasil is the only one that doesn’t combat highly contagious, infectious diseases (like measles and chicken pox) that are transmitted by respiratory route.

The strains of cervical cancer caused by the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) that Gardasil claims to prevent, can only be communicated by sexual contact and therefore don’t represent a danger to children or the general population. That is why Merck’s aggressive advertising and lobbying campaign to make it mandatory for school-aged girls ultimately failed. Evidently, the feds bought into it."

Here's an update from the USCIS(US Citizen and Immigration Services) site concerning vaccines as of today:

Q. I heard that the vaccine against herpes zoster (zoster) and the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) are required vaccines. Is this true?
A. From Aug. 1, 2008, until Dec. 13, 2009, the zoster and the HPV were required vaccines for immigration purposes. However, the zoster vaccine was not available from Aug. 1, 2008, through Dec. 13, 2009, and USCIS posted a message on the Web to inform civil surgeons they could annotate the vaccination record with "not available" if they were not able to obtain the vaccine. In 2009, CDC changed the vaccination requirements based on ACIP's recommendations. As of Dec. 14, 2009, the zoster and the HPV vaccine were no longer required.

In my home state of Florida, I found this information concerning Gardasil vaccine on the National Conference of State Legislatures site:

S.B. 86 Would allow the Board of Medicine and Board of Osteopathic Medicine to establish guidelines concerning information given to parents on HPV and also requires insurance policies to cover the HPV vaccine. Withdrawn (1/23/07)

S.B. 660 Would prohibit certain students from entering school without the HPV vaccine and would require public and private schools to provide information on HPV and the HPV vaccine to parents of certain children. (H.B. 561 is identical) Died in Committee on Education Pre-k--12 Appropriations (5/4/07)

Look closely at the wording in red. Think of Florida's industries and migrant workers. Gee. I wonder who they could be trying to sterilize. Not too obvious, eh?

I searched the NCSL's database for updates on this issue and found that it has not been raised since 2007.

Decimating The Food Chain One Species At A Time

2010-09-04T23:39:00.008-04:00

As much as I love salmon I'm not eating it anymore. I can't. It grieves me to see such greed winning over common sense. Leave Mother Nature alone!!

Information packed, I promise these vids will be worth your time. They're about seven minutes apiece.

Next, antibiotics, diseases, and the aftermath of the farms leaving....

Zammit & The Million Dollar Challenge

2010-09-04T21:20:00.004-04:00

Victor Zammit is an interesting character I've discovered online through a fellow gnostic. I completely forgot about our conversation until I tripped across Zammit's website in a round-about way. *shrug* All's well that ends well. In gnosis you're bound to find what you need when you need it.

Here's his website. Zammit is a retired Australian lawyer with a zeal for exploration and truth. His specialty? The afterlife. More specifically: Near Death Experiences, also known as "NDE's"

Zammit offers a book he wrote called "A Lawyer Presents The Case For The Afterlife" for free if you download it in PDF form off his site OR you can click on links and read it chapter by chapter. The physical paper book is $10.

This guy is offering a ONE MILION DOLLAR reward for anyone who can offer a logical argument against any of his own which are presented in his book making the case for the afterlife. What I find so ... magical... about this is the fact that Houdini and other magicians have done the same concerning proof of psychic abilities and nobody ever won. Why? Because the magician always holds the cards and controls the experiment. So does Zammit hold all the cards here? Is he scheming or scamming anyone? He appears to be a very well learned gent and open to conversation.

Zammit made his case, printed it, and is giving it to the masses to refute. So far nobody has taken the bait. And yet Dawkins continues to sell books endorsing fundamentalist atheism. I suppose it's so much more productive to refute something in theory(in your head!) than show physical proof of your argument. Dawkins, nor any of his disciples, will ever win that million dollar prize.

Zammit's site is a treasure trove of reading material. He has dozens of links on articles talking about debunking magicians, skeptics of all kinds, and his talks with serious scientists who show proof of what happens to the body and brain during death. Amazing stuff. I plan to get lost in it for a few hours today.

Ogres, Onions, and Lay Gnosis

2010-08-26T21:20:00.006-04:00

Talking about lay gnosis with a friend today reminded me of that funny moment in the movie Shrek(1) where Shrek and Donkey are walking through a field and the ogre is trying to explain how his species is so misunderstood:

"Ogres are like onions.."
"What- they're stinky?"
"NO! Layers! Ogres have layers!!"
"Oh."

Layers abound in gnosis. Lay gnosis peels back those layers faster and in deeper ways than pure "academic" gnosis ever can.

Kinda like ripping off a band-aid really fast. But more infinitely more enjoyable!

Practitioners of lay gnosis connect more fully, I think, with one another because we have learned to live with the extraordinary occurring so frequently in our everyday lives that ... it becomes normal. Being serenaded with music, bells, and other instruments by Pleroma, given metaphysical "hugs" and the like are all normal with us. As is being guided through dreamscapes which have us waking up either laughing or crying in joy or sorrow. Emotions are magnified one hundred fold, and yet so is the comprehension.

Corporate Watch Organizations

2010-08-21T23:22:00.007-04:00

http://www.corporatewatch.org.uk/

This is a link which has been added to the Human Rights Sites & Organizations section of the blog. In doing research on the pharmaceutical company Pfizer I tripped across this organization and the articles are stunning. Wikileaks has links to it as well.

The chronic pain ailment I live with is confusing enough to live with on a daily basis. Add in doctors and all the expensive medications they push at me and I think I damn near went nuts the first year trying to figure it all out. I was spending upwards of $350 a month on meds which were making me feel worse. I couldn't even walk down stairs in my house without passing out from vertigo. Couldn't cook for myself because I left the burners on and nearly burned the house down. My husband was terrified to leave me at home by myself to go to work. He still calls me three times a day to make sure I'm ok. Habits like that are hard to break, I guess.

The main medication I am on now which does me the most good and keeps me functional is, get this--- over-the counter! not a script at all. I can purchase it at any pharmacy section of a store. It is a natural powdered extract of a tree which has been pressed into pill form. Wow. How 'bout that? Big Pharma lost out on ripping me off because I find better treatment in what Mother Nature offers.

Every time I see an advertisement for the meds I was originally put on in the beginning I feel the impulse to throw something heavy and damaging at my television. The actresses they hire for the ads can't even pronounce the illness correctly for crying outloud!

In researching my own illness and medications I have been thrust down into a rabbit hole and seen such unimaginable depths of depravity it's hard to describe. I know more than my doctor about my illness and the dangerous effects of medications he's pushed at other patients of his, not knowing any better.

After every appointment I walk out of his office feeling both lighter and freer but at the same time more depressed at the state of things. Our lives are worth more to corporate monsters if we are suffering than if we are living happy, healthy, fulfilling lives.

I'm currently researching a particular large organization and their illegal insertions of ingredients into vaccines(like the tetanus) which sterilizes the people who are given the vaccines. These ingredients have even been found in the swine flu vaccines, particularly the nasal spray given to children. Mass sterilizations are happening right under our noses.

I only wonder how much longer it'll be before Wikileaks founder is hunted down and finally killed by our government.

Your Journey

2010-08-20T09:44:00.001-04:00

Dolores O'Riordan does it again! Such a political beastie, she is. And not scared to open up and scream it like it is.

From the newest album of The Cranberries, here is the song Your Journey. Embedding was disabled, otherwise I'd show you right here on the blog. It's stunning. Scenes from the rocky coasts of Ireland.

When I was weak we both went walking on the sand
We were walking hand in hand in appeared
Once set our footprints when you carried me along
It was then that abandoned my fears....

Why Gnostics Ask Why

2010-08-14T20:42:00.001-04:00

To atheists, agnostics, general malcontents, and the curious public who ask questions about gnosticism I offer you this condensed explanation of why gnostics have been so misunderstood, hated, and martyred throughout human history:

"To question all things; - never to turn away from any difficulty; to accept no doctrine either from ourselves or from other people without a rigid scrutiny by negative criticism; letting no fallacy, no incoherence, or confusion of thought step by unperceived; above all to insist upon having the meaning of a word clearly understood before using it. and the meaning of a proposition before assenting to it; - these are the lessons we learn from the ancient dialecticians."

John Stuart Mill,
Inaugural address as Rector, University of St. Andrews
February 1st, 1867

Once we graduate from infancy and realize our potential, asking why isn't terrifying. It is a somber expression of our status as an adult human being. And we have every right to receive an answer.

Being content with the holey-as-Swiss-cheese doctrine of literalist faith means that we have allowed others to think for us. Where is the mystery? Why is it that others have asked and supposedly received answers and we are not allowed to ask our own questions? What, then, is the meaning of OUR life?

The Age Of The Earth & Religious Uproar

2010-08-11T21:16:00.008-04:00

Young Earth Creationists rejoice!! For you have a momentous new task before you- find another scripture(or reinterpret a previously recycled idea) which can explain away an entire mountain range island which points out that scientists' theory concerning the age of our planet is correct.

It has been immensely entertaining watching the emotional fireworks show in the comment area. I've listed a few of the more interesting comments below, after the article.

Chunk of Original Earth Found
Pocket of rock survived 4.5 billion years without being mixed by plate tectonics

By Larry O'Hanlon

updated 8/11/2010 1:59:20 PM ET

Imagine you suddenly discovered part of your umbilical cord was still attached. Scientists just did that for the planet Earth. What's been found is a clear sign that beneath the crust in northern Canada there is a chunk of pristine, undisturbed rock from the time when Earth was nothing but molten rock.

The evidence comes in the form of lava rocks that, themselves, are a mere 60 million years old. But these rocks contain an early Earth mixture of helium, lead and neodymium isotopes which suggest the mantle rock beneath the crust that yielded them is a virgin pocket of Earth's original material.

That pocket had survived for 4.5 billion years under Baffin Island without being mixed by plate tectonics or erupted onto the surface.

"I was surprised that any of the (original) mantle survived," said geoscientist Matthew Jackson of Boston University. He is the lead author on a paper announcing the discovery in this week's issue of the journal Nature. "Finding a piece of the original mantle has been a holy grail. The original Earth was a big ball of magma. That's our (planet's) original composition."

The discovery has surprised other researchers as well.

"Even if a vestige of such material remained, it seems unlikely that it would be found in any samples from Earth's surface or the shallow subsurface that are available to geologists," observed David Graham of Oregon State University in Corvallis, who wrote a commentary in the same issue of Nature. "Yet that is what (this) new evidence suggests."

One of the obstacles in finding rocks from such ancient mantle, up to now, has been that researchers had assumed an early Earth was composed of rocks with helium and lead isotope matching those of a type of ancient meteorite called a chondrite.

That may be true up to a point, said Jackson. Some recent research by scientists at the Carnegie Institution of Washington has suggested that the Earth's early mantle would also have tell-tale neodymium isotopes that are unlike chondrites.

"That turns out to be the same as we find in these lavas (from Baffin Island)," said Jackson.

The other signs of untouched ancient mantle material -- which has not before lost any of its material to Earth's surface or been otherwise tainted -- is large amount of the isotopes helium-3 relative to helium-4. There is also an very old lead-isotope signature. It was these three criteria -- the helium, lead and neodymium -- that led Jackson and his team to the conclusion Baffin Islands massive volcanic cliffs are made of the oldest material on the planet.

As for how much of this original mantle might be around, the only way to tell is to look at lava rocks and see if they came from such stuff, said Jackson.

"We have no idea how common it might be," Jackson told Discovery News. Models suggest that up to 10 percent of the early mantle might still be around. But the new discovery could change those models and their predictions. "It turns everything on its head."

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

A commenter named "Mekinism" has been wonderfully instructive in the YEC perspective.

"Science doesn't 'prove' anything. Science is a tool used by humans to interpret facts."

"i've been seeing these atheist (and yes humanism is a religion) scientists publishing more and more 'big stories' lately. They have to stick with what the know still works these days - evolution/billions of years. They go on and and on about 'the facts' with the same old logical fallacies about how 'science has proved' something. If you start with the old concepts of uniformitarianism and no catastrophic events - you'll get your billions of years. If you start with a literal, straight reading of the Bible - you'll get around 6000 - and yes, the same 'facts' will back it up."
"apollyon - very true - science is science - so why does science try to answer a history question when it comes to origins? there is absolutely no way to empirically test the age of a basalt flow without making a LOT of assumptions. In this case - assumptions rooted in atheism.

The consistant Christian has the inerrant Word of God as his starting point and views the facts from that standpoint."

Oh no, "Pbarb" caught onto the fact that this YEC'er believes science is encumbered with too many atheists and not enough literalist Christians!!!! He/she said:

"Science doesn't make assumptions based on atheism (as you stated, Mekinism). To state you can only look at facts through "humanistic or biblical glasses" shows your bias, as if the Christianity is the only religion out there. And then to state that conclusions made through those lenses have just as much basis in fact is just ridiculous. For example, a conclusion made through "biblical glasses" evolution can not have occurred since God created man and animals. This is obviously not the case, and if you feel otherwise then there is probably no point in arguing. Science is ideally unbiased, but when assumptions have to be made they are based on logic and knowledge, nothing else."

Mekinism comes back with:

"I also didn't say that science makes atheistic assumptions - i said it's a tool - that if one believes there is no God - their findings will reflect that. If one starts from the Bible - then it shows something else -"

Exactly. Starting from the Bible makes absolute sense!!! .... for about ten minutes. Then you remember that the Earth isn't flat and the sun doesn't revolve around the Earth.

Mekinism finishes off that cringe-worthy statement with something I wanted to crawl under the table and hide from, it was so forehead-slappable.

"as for Christianity being the "only religion out there" i'm just standing on the Bibles own claim to being the infallible Word of God."

If you didn't cry in abject horror of that circular logic go back and reread the sentence.

The Concept

2010-08-10T21:40:00.010-04:00

Been dealing with a migraine since late last night. So for around 24 hours now I've had a stabbing pain going straight through the tear duct of my left eye and into my brain. Marvelous feeling, I tell you. One good thing that's come out of this is that my time has been well spent- resting!

During bedrest I've had quite a day conversing and communing with Pleroma. Quirky little snippets and flashes. Soothing. Then irritating because I didn't have enough energy to get up and grab my notebook to write stuff in. So I resigned myself to relaxing and drowsily enjoying the company. Quite a nice siesta, honestly. The most pleasant migraine I've ever had. lol

Now that I'm feeling good enough to be vertical once more I decided to relay a dream I had. It repeated in a fuzzier quality a few times before stopping completely. What I mean is that I'd wake up from it and lay awake for a few hours and then when I fell into a drowsy state once again it'd repeat.

Recall a while back where I mentioned a motif trend in gnostic dreams and landscapes? This dream fits into that same category. The landscape of this dream stands out vividly- it was the female barracks I lived in during Basic Training. (I washed out during training due to injuries. I'm dreaming of the barracks I lived in BEFORE I went to the physical therapy unit and discharged.)

So everyone was asleep. Fifty something females up in their bunks, dead to the world. I was on night guard but instead of sitting at a table by the door like normal, I was sitting at a piano.

I stretched the right side of my body forward and rested my right arm on the top of the piano and lay my head in the crook of my elbow, looking down at the keys. I played with my left hand, which is bizarre in itself because I'm mostly right handed. I played a very simple mid-toned tune over and over again. It was like, half of the tune, because I didn't have both hands on the keys. Somebody leaned over my shoulder and said, "you've almost got it."

I could feel the vibration of the chords through my chest and arms.

It was ten minutes before everyone was due to wake up. That same voice standing over me said, "Not yet. It's not time. You'll wake them up early." But I played anyway because the music wanted to come out through my fingers. So I played the same tune over and over again.... and then woke up from the dream when the lights came on in the barracks.

Took me nearly an hour to track down the song. The Cranberries have a quite a few albums and I had to listen to a minute or so of each song before I could rule it out. I could hear the words in my head but it didn't occur to me precisely which song it was because it didn't really appeal to me when I first heard it years ago. Now the opposite is true. I can't get it out of my head. And today that's not a bad thing. I need all the soothing I can get because my eyes still hurt so badly from the migraine.

Anyway, here's the song. "The Concept" by the Cranberries from their album Wake Up And Smell The Coffee. The chorus is the bit which keeps repeating in my mind from Pleroma as a gentle hug. Very appreciated. Lyrics are down below.

Come here, my lover
Something's on your mind
Listen to no other
They could be unkind

Chorus:
Hold on to the concept of love, always
Darling
Hold on to the concept of love, always

Take life between us
Live it like we choose
They'll never see us
I will hear you call

Hold on to the concept of love, always
Darling
Hold on to the concept of love, always

Night all night all night

Pleroma Showing His Love In Nature

2010-08-08T00:12:00.004-04:00

This is one of my favorite vids by TrueBlueHealer.com. Crank that volume up and I guarantee by the time you get to the puppy pic you'll be grinning and your heart will feel lighter!

The descriptive Steve uses, of lay gnosis being a 'romantic ambush', is pretty accurate. On the best days it's like being attacked by a great dane and slobbered on with doggie kisses. The purest kind of love. There is NO equivalent, really. Our human languages fail at such grandiose emotions. (I used the great dane attack as the closest description because... I was attacked by a great dane when I was a kid. She sat on me. Nearly killed me. But when her slobbery cheek touched mine, all was forgiven. She was just so exuberant in her affection that she was overwhelming to my smaller physical form. Pleroma is like that, in a way)

Hemp, Pot, & The Law

2010-08-05T18:45:00.011-04:00

I had a crazy discussion the other day with my fifty-five year old mother who suffers from two debilitating chronic pain illnesses, about pot. Yes. Pot!

With the one chronic pain ailment we do both share(fibromyalgia) we both agreed emphatically that if pot was legalized there'd be a race as to who could get to the hemp shop first. "My new Toyota would beat your rusty little Buick any day, sweety," she said with a sneer.

My husband was horrified listening to us, saying, "I can't believe you two!! Have you no shame?!! It's wrong! It'll make you stupid!"

At which point both my mother and I look at my husband and just sigh. He doesn't understand chronic pain the way we do. He doesn't understand looking at food like it's the enemy(because of nausea) and hiding from strong smells or loud sounds(migraines) or the stress and strain of dealing with normal everyday stuff the way other people do(overwhelming sense stimulation). Oh yeah, then how 'bout the immune system from hell and catching every bug in a fifty mile radius? That's always a joy.

My mother, who is twenty times cooler since I went through my Miserable Teen years, pats me on the knee and says to me, "Baby, if you wanna be a pothead I'll support your habit. Just make sure you never smoke alone. I wouldn't want you to get stupid or anything," while glancing over at my husband. I start laughing so hard I couldn't even see straight. My husband stomps out of the room yelling about crazy assed women.

My mother and I are copacetic on the topic of pot. If it was legal we'd be buying it. My Mom said she's thinking about getting some shirts made that say, "potential weed eater" showing a picture of a special brownie. I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year....lol

These two vids are fantastic talking points about marijuana. Tons of facts. And depressing news about DuPont and all the other ugly corporations out there who really don't have our best interest at heart.

In terms of gnosis + pot, I say go for it. Relaxing is good. Rx pharmaceuticals are out to kill us for the most part. Don't even get me started on fibromyalgia medications. I'll rant and rave for hours on the crap I've been through the past few years. The treatment I'm on now isn't "kosher" with the FDA and yet I'm doing well on it and I don't have any side effects. So Eli Lilly and Pfizer can bite me. Their meds made me hallucinate so badly I couldn't read or even string a sentence together coherently.

Part One:

Part Two: (the background music is kinda loud on this one but the information is fantastic and worth your time.)

Einstein's Religion

2010-08-05T09:03:00.003-04:00

"I'm not an atheist, and I don't think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written these books. It does not know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws. Our limited minds grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations. I am fascinated by Spinoza's pantheism, but admire even more his contribution to modern thought because he is the first philosopher to deal with the soul and body as one, not two separate things."

G.S. Viereck, Glimpses of the Great(Macauley, New York, 1930)

In April of 1929, Cardinal O'Connell, Archbishop of Boston, admonished the members of the New England Catholic Club of America not to read anything on relativity because it "befogged speculation producing universal doubt about God and his Creation... cloaking the ghastly apparition of atheism."

New York Times, 25 April 1929, p.60

Rabbi Herbert S. Goldstein of the Institutional Synagogue in New York cabled Einstein simply, "Do you believe in God?"

Einstein replied: "I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings."

So Einstein was, in fact, a deist. Not an atheist. Not even a "practical atheist" as so many atheists try to claim.

Einstein always fought the label of atheism and made a sharp distinction between his disbelief in a personal god and atheism:

"Speaking of the spirit that informs modern scientific investigations, I am of the opinion that all the finer speculations in the realm of science spring from a deep religious feeling, and that without such feeling they would not be fruitful. I also believe that, this kind of religiousness, which makes itself felt today in scientific investigations, is the only creative religious activity of our time. The art of today can hardly be looked upon at all as expressive of our religious instincts."

Einstein's theory of relativity was, as we now see in hindsight by biographical scholars, based on religious concepts. For example, in Spinoza's Ethics he declared, "God is immutable or all his attributes are immutable[like space]," and "an extended thing are God's attributes." In accordance with Spinoza, Einstein interpreted the term "endure" in the verse "the Heavens endure from everlasting to everlasting" in the sense of immutable existence.

What happened next? Einstein made what he called the "biggest blunder" of his career. In 1917 he modified the relativity field equation by introducing an additional term, the so-called "cosmological constant," in order to obtain a static unchanging universe. He essentially ruled out Big Bang 'spread' stating that the universe was somehow made and is stationary, excluding the orbits of galactic masses.

Steady expansion of the universe was only discovered in the late 1920's at the Mount Wilson Observatory. Nevertheless, Einstein was still kicking himself. Instead of trusting his gut instinct he tinkered with the formula to allow for religious ideas from his beloved Spinoza.

See what not trusting your instincts will do?

Nudity, XRays, & Goverment Peeking At Our Panties

2010-08-04T21:54:00.008-04:00

Most days I can stay on topic here. I can stick to the ethereal nature that is religion and the practical existence which is gnosticism. Not today. Sorry, folks. Just can't happen. Not when I saw THIS on the front page of MSN. My comments are below.

PS. I LIVE IN FLORIDA!!! I'd love to know where this happened.

Police agencies admit to saving body scan images

Capabilities of the checkpoint security machines are still shrouded in mystery

By: Wilson Rothman

msnbc.com updated 8/4/2010 4:06:55 PM ET

Despite claims by the TSA that electronic body scan images "cannot be stored or recorded," some federal police agencies are in fact saving tens of thousands of images, according to a report by CNET News.

The body scanners, increasingly found in airports, courthouses and other places where security is high, use an assortment of technologies. These include millimeter wave scanners (shown below) — in which the subject is harmlessly pelted with extremely high frequency radio waves which reflect a picture back to the device — and backscatter X-ray (shown above) — which measures low-powered reflective X-rays to produce clearer body shots, shots that can reveal alarmingly precise anatomical detail.

According to CNET, the U.S. Marshals Service admitted this week that it had saved thousands of images that had been recorded from a security checkpoint in a Florida courthouse.

The revelation comes at a tense time. Two weeks ago, when Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said such scanners would appear in every major airport, privacy advocates such as the Electronic Privacy Information Center in Washington D.C. filed a lawsuit to stop the device rollout.

The reason? Because the devices were "designed and deployed in a way that allows the images to be routinely stored and recorded," EPIC executive director Marc Rotenberg told CNET, adding that this "is exactly what the Marshals Service is doing."

As CNET's Declan McCullagh explains, it's the mystery of the devices' potential that is most unnerving: "This trickle of disclosures about the true capabilities of body scanners — and how they're being used in practice — is probably what alarms privacy advocates more than anything else," he wrote.

The TSA maintains that body scanning is "constitutional" and the CNET report notes that while the machines are built to "allow exporting of image data in real time" and provide networked "high-speed transfer of image data," the system are built with filters to "protect the identity, modesty, and privacy of the passenger."

*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****

biznine gave a spectacular response:

Here's a solution to all of the controversy over the full-body scanners now being introduced at major airports.
What is needed is a reinforced booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device that you may have on you.

It would be a 'win-win' for everyone - there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift. Case closed!

This is so simple that it's brilliant.

I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight number..."

kst62 said:

Here's a new way- when you go to the airport just wear a bathrobe and flip-flops. When you get to security drop the robe and bend over to pick up your shoes to hand them. Have your back to them when you pick up your shoes. No scanners needed. Make a fun day of it, use markers or body paint to send fun messages. Hottie or nottie? Fit or flabby? Not only are you security, you're the judges of the worst beauty contest ever.

zach jacoby said:

@!$%# em, this is america! we're porn stars...i don't giva @!$%#

And Ms. Spirituality replied to zach:

You should at least get paid for it!

*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****

Someone pointed out that there was (supposedly) a separate line you can get into if you want to opt out of being scanned. Instead, you are patted down.

I think that the next time I am forced to fly or go through any kind of checkpoint of this nature I'm just going to strip naked and save them the trouble of even patting me down. They won't be impressed. They'll probably be horrified. But you know what? They interviewed for their job, signed the W2 for it, and I guess they'll just have to deal with it. Maybe I'll get some colorful, sparkly pasties for the occasion.

I really like biznine's suggestion, though.

On a more serious note: I do have some concerns not just about the depth of that image but about the precision. As a female this horrifies me in ways I don't think a man could possibly understand understand. There are contraptions available today to deal with a woman's menses which, honestly, on an XRay might set off some security alerts if the person viewing the picture isn't accustomed to seeing this type of thing. The last thing a woman wants to hear is, "Ma'am, can you please step over here. Ok. Now... what is that thing inside you? Because we might have to do a cavity search."

Talk about embarrassing!

I don't think it's any of our government's business what's going on under our clothes unless we're acting suspiciously.

If anyone hears anything else on this issue and the legality of it, keep in touch. This topic is one which bears our attention.

Meditating

2010-08-02T18:41:00.002-04:00

I wish I was better at meditation. But I dutifully try to calm my mind and do it when I feel the need. I can only get better if I practice, right?

Just yesterday I got a glimpse into the truly absurd comedic mind which is The All. Let me relate the tale and you can see for yourself just how silly a close gnostic relationship with Pleroma can be at times. (Serious? What's serious?!!)

So there I am, relaxed, laying in bed with my eyes closed. Concentrating on breathing and thinking of nothing at all when connection is made. Tingling in hands and fingertips, typical lay gnosis signal.

Him: "hey. whatcha doin?"
Me: "trying to meditate.
Him: "huh. ok. oh, hey, by the way, did you know that... blah blah blah.."
Me: *internal sigh* "No, I didn't. hey, you know you're kinda distracting me. Isn't this what you want me to do?
Him: *pause* "Isn't that why I called you?"
Me: *internal sound of confused crickets chirping...* (head/desk. Now I'm stumped) And then he left it at that. Not another peep for the rest of the day. What the....?!

Conclusion: Pleroma has his weird days where he calls and... doesn't really have a whole lot to say. Kind of like texting someone to say hi and bye again. And "aha! Made you look!"

Days like this are why I have the meta tag of "playing." (see below)

Ode to the Demiurge?

2010-08-01T13:27:00.004-04:00

With my iPod on shuffle today I stumbled over a song which took me by surprise from my past. Mid '90's. The group with the iconic name of STP, not to be confused with the motor oil.

The lyrics to this particular song are quite striking. Pay careful attention to the description of the being and the muffled shift to Bible verses at the end. Kinda makes me cringe. I honestly can't think of anyone else who has created such a bold piece of work about the demiurge's doings.

Stone Temple Pilots -- "Naked Sunday"
(There's a few seconds delay at the beginning for the lower instrumentals and I haven't found a real video that was made for the song by the band. Not sure if it even exists.)

You're the fuel to the fire
You're the weapons of war
You're the irony of justice
And the father of law

I've been waiting for awhile to meet you
For the chance to shake your hand
To give you thanks for all the suffering you command
And when all is over and we return to dust
Who will be my judge and which one do I trust

You're the champion of sorrow
You're the love and the pain
You're the fighter of evil
Yet you're one in the same

I've been waiting for awhile to meet you
For the chance to shake your hand
To give you thanks for all the suffering you command
And when all is over and we return to dust
Who will be my judge and which one do I trust?

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
Turn the other cheek aside
We're all god's children, the giver of life
Alone, we will survive.

Grasping and Non-Grasping(Detachment)

2010-07-29T19:19:00.005-04:00

Along with the concept of ahimsa(to not harm a living thing either in action or words) another Buddhist concept I regularly talk to my two children about is upadana. This is a complex concept which, while difficult to talk to adults about, is ridiculously easy to talk to children about. Their minds are capable of seeing clearly whereas adults have too many materialistic hangups in the way.

Let's dig deeper and see why this may be.

Upādāna: Sanskrit for"clinging," "attachment" or "grasping", although the literal meaning is "fuel."^[1] Upādāna and tṛṣṇā (Skt.; Pali: taṇhā) are seen as the two primary causes of suffering. The cessation of clinging leads to Nirvana.^[2]

There are four main "clinging types" talked about in Buddhist and Hindu texts.

The craving of worldly things/sensations
completely black or white world views and view of the self
clinging to rites and rituals as if rites alone could lead directly to liberation
and maintaining a self-doctrine that one has a permanent "self" to lose when death occurs

Although children are professional players(this is literally their JOB as part of exploration) they have a much more wobbly sense of balance. Why do you think this is? This is because they are not 'firmly in their skin' so to speak. It is only through later adolescence and then young adulthood when the soul become so firmly attached to the physical form they have grown accustomed to. Naturally, this leads to clingy behavior if this form is threatened. Adults are more cautious than children when protecting this form(and material possessions seen to have worth).

In keeping a doctrine or world-view of either all "This" or all "That" we make the mistake of filling the mold of stereotypes. Fundamentalism at its finest. There is no growth through this skewed perspective. The world is not completely one way or the other and neither is our soul or connection to the divine. Without change there is stagnation. With stagnation comes spiritual death. Then one must ask themselves: what is the purpose of life if not to grow and learn? If you don't want to learn and grow why are you still hanging around? And if you're so sure of everything then this last question still applies. What is there left for you to do if not learn?

Clinging to rites and rituals is a dangerous form of upadana in that it also does not allow us to grow beyond our current perspective. This grasping behavior is the comfort of routine while in other ways it is the basis of wanting to get something far before you are ready for it. The Biblical theme of "paying to get into heaven" falls into this concept. Pushing our religious boundaries and not becoming stagnant is essential. If we are not child-like and choose instead to cling to our rituals then we are in danger of losing that vibrant connection to the divine. It becomes dull when not used in new ways on a regular basis.

A few months ago I wrote a blog post about a whisper in my ear from Pleroma. It was, quote, "you do not have a self." It is one thing to teach about non-grasping behavior in the material world and quite another to dissolve this seemingly hardwired idea in our brain that each of us is separate and therefore we have cause to do harm to one another any way we wish. If it's not hurting us then who cares, right? As long as I get what I need or want then that's all that matters.

Rising above this greed of self-identity is very difficult. In gnosis, this is the equivalent of visualizing the pattern of cloth or material which makes up Pleroma and therefore, us. We are all connected as one mind. Separate physical bodies but all connected with spirit. We think we are separate only because of miscommunication and the distractions of the material world. We're so caught up in these distractions that with each of us trying to grab a certain piece of something we think that there's not going to be enough for everyone so there must be a race to get there first.

By seeing the divine connection we share with one another it becomes unthinkable that we would wish to harm 'our self.'

Detachment is the opposite of grasping.
Nekkhamma in contrast to upādāna.

Nekkhamma is a tricky concept in relation to gnosis and this bears much further discussion.

"...From the cessation of craving comes the cessation of clinging/sustenance. From the cessation of clinging/sustenance comes the cessation of becoming. From the cessation of becoming comes the cessation of birth. From the cessation of birth, then aging, illness & death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair all cease. Such is the cessation of this entire mass of suffering & stress."

— from "Clinging" (Upadana Sutta SN 12.52)

I think that we have to be careful, very careful, about what we become detached from. For such a lofty goal of attaining gnosis and therefore a more complete communion with Pleroma, must we detach from the world completely? What if we choose to detach from our family, friends, and neighbors? What would the purpose be? What if we sit in mute contemplation for the rest of our days?